Lesson Learned

God has been teaching me a lesson over this weekend. Actually, it's something my mom used to tell me as a kid, but of course I never listened. The lesson is that if you go your whole life not doing things because you are afraid of getting hurt, then you may miss out on a great opportunity. This happened to me this weekend. My friend Robert from Hebron told me that he liked me on Thursday night and asked me out. He is a great guy, we have a lot in common and have tons of fun together. I was kinda apprehensive about dating again period, because I am sick of getting hurt. I thought about it a lot and prayed about it and I decided that getting hurt is a part of life and a chance I have to take to get to know an awesome guy. So, I guess I am officially dating someone. It is scary and exciting, all at the same time. We are taking it very slow and are gonna do a lot of group dating, which is so fun. There is no pressure and it is a great feeling. He still has his life and I have mine, but together we have fun too. We know a little about each others past and I think that will make our relationship better. He is very sweet and considerate. I just wanted to share this with everyone and get you to pray for us. I haven't had the best track record with dating and guys and I have made a lot of mistakes in the past that I have learned from. I will keep you posted and let you know how it goes.

BTW, total random subject change... my brother in Iraq just got promoted from an E-4 to an E-5. I don't really know what that means exactly, but I do know that is really good. I am so proud of him. Just keep him in your prayers also.

God is my provider

We all know that God is our Jehovah Jireh, our provider, but how much do you ever think about it? At church last night, we were talking about how God provides for us always. It may not always be in the way or at the moment that we want it to, but He never leaves us hanging. God knows when and if we need the things that we want. His timing and our timing aren't always the same. If God gave us everything that we ever wanted, we would never give Him the glory. Think about it.. when we are most fufilled by the world with having everything we want, we are most distant from God. Then, when we want or need something again, we take God back out of the box we placed Him in and ask Him once again for whatever it is that we think we need and can't live without. Pretty true, huh? Why can't we just be so focused on Him and so in love with Him that we allow Him to decide what happens in our lives and when. God meant for things to be relatively simple, and we, as humans, have to make everything so darn difficult. Why is that? The more I get to know Him, the more I realize there is more to Him than I could ever fully understand or grasp. That's why I love Him so much.

So, the next time you ask God for something and He doesn't answer in your timing, don't think of it as an unanswered prayer, think of it as bad timing or something better is coming your way. That is where I am now and that is what He has been teaching me. Put Him first no matter what and then that way, no matter what happens in your life, you will know who is in control and who has the plans for your life... Him, not me, THANK GOD!!!

Stress!!

Man.. God must really be trying to deal with me at this point in my life. I have been struggling a lot lately with a lot of different issues in life. My job isn't what I thought it would be, I feel like I am not accomplishing anything that I want to accomplish, I have had to step back and examine my life and decide where I stand on certain issues and who I really trust. I am finding out who my true friends are and all that. I have been missing my mom a lot lately and it has just been really hard. I know that my God is bigger than anything I am going through, and that fact is what keeps me going and perservering to the end!! I feel as if my world has been turned upside down and I am losing control.. it is a scary feeling.

My awesome weekend

My weekend was rockin!! Considering that I was sick last weekend, it felt good to be able to have fun again. So, Friday night, I went to Inoko's with some girlfriends of mine from Dacula. Our poor waiter had burned his hand on the habachi grill and had blisters everywhere. We made friends with the people sitting next to us and the chef made us animals out of aluminum foil with our leftovers. I got a mermaid, Carrie got a frog, Marsha got a swan, Suko got an octopus and Beth got a purse. The little boy beside me got a Teenage Mutant Ninga Turtle. It was awesome. On Saturday, about ten of my Dacula/Hebron friends were at my house. We ordered four large pizzas and coke. We listened to music, played Trivial Pursuit and Tabu. Then, Suko taught us a cool game called "Silent Football," which has nothing to do with football by the way and Brandy and I showed the gang how to play "Big Booty." I will have to teach it to the Inner G group.. it is really fun. They didn't leave til about 1 am. Then, on Sunday, I taught the preschoolers about Daniel and the Lions Den and we made Lions manes out of paper plates.. I wore mine into the church service and got a lot of funny looks.. oh well. I went home, ate Ravioli, watched some Felicity and chilled. Then my friend Robert came over, along with my brother and sister-in-law. They tried to teach me how to play poker... Texas Hold em and some other stuff.. I stink at Poker and betting chips.. anyways, I had a lot of fun trying. Also, great news.... I talked to my brother yesterday morning from Iraq. It made my day. He is fine.. just please continue to keep him in your prayers.

I am bringing two of my Hebron friends with me to Inner G tonight.. Robert and Clint (whom I went to HS with and graduated with). I am going to go to the mall and eat lunch with a friend and buy my man (Kenny Chesney's ) new CD... YAY!! I am so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

stressful week!!

This week has been very tiring, stressful and crazy. I mean, I only have one class and a part-time job, but it seems like this week was very straining on me. I had a test this morning in Stats, which I probably could've studied a little harder for, but I think I did ok anyway. I am not complaining, but I get tired of doing the same thing for six hours at work everyday. Sitting in front of a computer, looking up email addresses, cutting and pasting them into a database.. although, I did get three states worth of churches done this week... Colorado, Iowa, and Kentucky. I have had a zillion things running through my mind this week. Been thinking about my brother in Iraq, Ashlie in Swaziland, issues I am dealing with concerning friends and stuff. I am the kind of person, unfortunately, who sits and thinks about things, analyzes them and dwells on them forever. It stinks, but that is one of my character flaws, I guess. I have a hard time getting over things and letting them go sometimes. And I always think that I can fix everyone else's problems, except for my own. Sorry guys, this is a rambling blog post today. That is the way my mind is ... random ramblings. Can any of you relate? I am sure that you can. Well, I'm gonna go now and see what else I can worry about and analyze over. Until next time.

Continued...

I wasn't really done with the post before I went to class. Anyways, Tammy and I were talking about how I am happy for her, excited about the preparations for the wedding, jealous that she is getting married and truthfully, sad that I am not even dating anyone. It is kinda bittersweet. I mean, we won't be able to have as many girls nights and go paint the town red, yellow and purple. But, most of all, I am very happy for her. I see how awesome she and Andrew are together and how much they love and care about each other. That makes the difference.

So, yeah, I guess I have just been in a mushy, sappy mood lately. I mean part of it goes with the territory.. I am a very high strung, emotional woman, ya know? Anyways, if this is happening to my best friend, then I can' t wait until I get my turn one day. YAY!!

I think I'm ready

After hanging with Tammy last night, gawking over her very beautiful engagement ring and pouring over Bridal Magazines at Starbucks for two hours, I have come to the realization that I am ok being single, but I am ready to start dating again, when the right guy comes alone. I was teasing Tammy about how she had to hook me up with her really nice looking cabana boy friend who I met on our trip to Florida (too bad he lives there, though). Then I was telling her that as her maid of honor, I must be escorted by and dance with the best man and how I hope he is nice and it would be cool if we hooked up (btw, I don't even know the best man and have never met him). I was saying all this to prove that I am ready to be in another relationship, if and when God is ready for it to happen. No rush, though!!

Anyways, I am super excited about being Tammy's maid of honor.. shopping for dresses, planning the bridal shower and bachellorette party, getting hair, nails and makeup done together.. it's gonna be a ton of fun. We were talking last night about how I am excited for her. Gotta go to class now. Talk to you later.

Happy Valentnes Day.. AKA Valloween

My friend Rodney came up with a word to say instead of Valentines Day and that is Valloween... Valentines Day and Halloween mixed together. This would be what the single people would call it, or at least me. Another one of my friends donned Valentines Day SAD day... Singles Awareness Day. Although, I have to say that everyday is a day for me to be aware that I am single, although I am perfectly fine with that. Like Leana Winn said last night. .. when you are single, you don't have to worry about anyone but yourself and what you are doing, you can use your money on other things besides dates and you can dress up for yourself, just because, and you don't have to have a reason. For all of you out there who are dating, engaged, married, whatever, props to you. I hope you get all the roses, chocolate and sweet cards that you deserve. But for all you single people out there, use this day as a reminder that the greatest love is the love that Jesus Christ has for us... HE is the lover of our souls and our best friend. Take some time today and read 1 Corinthians 13, which happens to be my favorite. Spend some time in prayer today and thank God for loving you. Also use today to do something special for someone you love... Melody and I are taking Hershey's kisses to schools in Hall County today to show them how much we appreciate them. Random Acts of Kindness.. that's what I like to call it. So, Happy Valentines Day, Valloween or S. A. D.... whatever you want to call it.

The First Day

Yesterday was my first day at my new job. I emailed 6000 newsletters, which took about 3 hours and put about 200 people and their info into a data base, which took two more hours. I have to finish the emails today, only 5000 more to go. I got to eat lunch with Charles (my boss) and his family. He and his wife Laura have a three year old daughter, Faith and a 10 month old son named Wesley. They are so cute. Faith told me all about the Wiggles and wanted me to play with her. Laura and I talked about Journalism, since she has a degree in that too. She used to work for the Gwinnett Daily Post. It was quite fun. I have to be at work at 12 today. And Tammy is coming over tonight to show off her ring. That's what happening in my world right now. Just keep praying for me. ... I am still sick and have a major tooth ache. Besides that, God rocks. Gotta go to Stats now. Talk to you later!!!

Naptime!!

I never realized how much better taking a nap can make you feel. It's funny how, in kindergarten I hated taking naps, and now, I usually don't have time. Well, I haven't been feeling good for a few days, so Friday I came home from school and took a three hour nap, a two hour one on Saturday and one yesterday after church. I felt so much better after I woke up. Last night I went to bed running a 101 fever. I tossed and turned all night long. I have been taking sinus medicine, aspirin and Echinacea. Well, this morning, my fever was gone.. praise God. I am still sick, but I would rather have the sniffles and eat cough drops, than have a fever. Especially since I start my new job tomorrow, I have to feel good, ya know?


On a happier note, my best friend Tammy called me yesterday and said that her boyfriend Andrew proposed to her on a boat on the lake at Stone Mountain. We screamed and were all excited. I am going to be her maid of honor, which means I get to help her pick out her dress and all that fun stuff. Plus, I get an excuse to dress up and look drop dead gorgeous myself. I am so happy for her! Every little girl dreams of her wedding day and meeting Prince Charming, and now her dream gets to become a reality. We are getting together this week so I can see the rock and we can cry and scream some more.. you know how girls are!!! I think I am gonna head home and do laundry and take another nap before church tonight. Sweet dreams!! Don't let the bed bugs bite!!!

sniff..sniff...sniff

Sniff.. Sniff.. Sniff.. I feel horrible. I couldn't sleep last night. I was freezing, even though I had my electric blanket on high and my heater on high. I mean, I am always cold, but this is insane. I woke up with the sniffles, a back ache, and am still freezing. I never get sick, so this isn't cool. The last time I went to the doctor was eighth grade. Then, my brother missed the bus, so guess who had to take him to school? We spent 15 minutes getting ice off my winshield with the scraper, and I had to get gas. Amazingly, I made it to GC with 10 minutes to spare. Then, in Stats class, this lady in front of me accidentally spilled my entire cup of hot chocolate on the desk, the floor, my notebook, my book satchel and my jacket. As a matter of fact, I still smell hot chocolate now. So, needless to say, my morning hasn't been the best one, but I am sure that it will get better.


Tonight, Tammy and I are supposed to paint the town red (again).. dinner, The Prince and Me, Scrabble.. what more can you ask for. Tomorrow night I am babysitting for MB's Sunday School class and then spending the night with her.. YAY.. Sunday night I will be watching the SuperBowl with Anne... I have too much to do this weekend to be sick. Oh well, life goes on. That is what I say. I think I am gonna go see who is in the Student Center, so I can run my mouth. Then, I am going home and going to sleep... that always makes me feel better.

Answered Prayers

God is totally rockin.. just wanted to let you guys know!! I heard back from my job today and I got it. I start next Tuesday. I am so excited. I know that a lot of prayer went into this job offer and I certainly got a lot of encouragement from it. I found out that he called some of my references and that he was very impressed... that makes me feel good. I didn't do as good on my Stats test as I had hoped, but a 77 isn't too shabby for me... especially in Math. At first I was upset, but then I realized that I did my best and that was all I could do. I finally got to talk to my brother, who is in Kuwait right now. They will be shipping out to go to Iraq in the next few days. Please keep him in your prayers. When I heard his voice, I burst into tears. I mean, everyone else in my family had gotten to talk to him, except for me. My family is going to send him a care package when he gets to Iraq, so if anyone wants to send him anything, just let me know. He said that there were no animals or trees..,. it is dry, desolate and quiet. He has a cold and had to pay $9 for a 12 pack of Advil, and we think we have it bad. I will never again complain about the price of anything. He is going to be driving one of the tanks from Kuwait to Iraq, which scares me and my dad to death. But, he said that there are lots of weapons on that tank, so he will be safe. I don't know. It is completely in God's hands. Anyways, out of all this rambling, I just wanted you to know that God rocks, He provides and He always takes care of His children. Just remember that!!

Submission

Submission is a very touchy subject to most people, including myself. Most people have a hard time submitting themselves to others, whether it be authority figures, such as cops, gov't officials, teachers, bosses, etc, or to your husband or wife or anyone else for that matter. But most importantly, we have a hard time submitting ourselves to God and letting him take control. I always thought of submission as doing whatever someone tells you to do, and being at their beck and call, but I found out that it means to be subject to... to honor and respect and be willing to do whatever it takes for that person, no matter what. If someone wants you to do something that goes against the Bible or your beliefs, then obviously you don't have to submit to them.

The speaker last night said that he felt that the reason that most women struggle with submission and view it as something bad is because males haven't been taking their leadership roles seriously and have abused the submission thing to scare women and get them to do what they want. This is completely wrong. For example, my stepbrother, who just turned 19 and my sister-in-law, who is 16, have been married for about four months. Every night before they go to sleep, he makes her put her hand on the Bible and promise that she will never cheat on him or leave him... EVER. Imagine having to do this everyday. I believe that this is an example of misusing submission.

Submission, along with everything else, is all about the heart and having the right motives. Submission doesn't neccessarily mean obedience. You can have respect and honor for someone and not agree with everything they say, or do everything they want you to do. I know I am probably rambling on and not making much sense, but it made sense last night. I would love to know you guys opinion on submission, just because I am curious to know from guys and girls perspectives. You can read 1 Peter for yourself and let me know what you think.

Ultimate Satisfaction!!

"He can't be fully glorified in us, until we are fully satisfied in Him"-This is a quote from a lesson that Heather taught back in July. It has been engrained in my heart, soul and mind ever since. I used to think that being satisfied and content meant that you had a significant other, a good job, a stable family and a focus and goal for your life, now I realize that while all of these things are important, they aren't most important. Being satisfied means, according to Webster,"to be convinced beyond a doubt" or to "gratify the need, desire or expectation of something." So, in other words, true satisfaction comes from the inside out, instead of the outside in. JESUS CHRIST IS MY ULTIMATE SATISFACTION!!

As I have been growing a lot spiritually and emotionally in the past few months, it is amazing how God has been working in my life and the things He has been showing me about myself and how to grow closer to Him. For example, I was having a really hard time getting over the breakup with Juan, whom I dated for a year. I had been praying and praying, but everytime I saw him, the feelings I had for him would come back. Finally, Jesus brought this quote to my attention and it has been so much easier living life single. I can honestly say that I am happy being single and that Jesus is the one true love of my life. I am spending each day now falling more and more in love with Him. I am finding my true satisfaction in Him, instead of in a relationship. This is just one example of this lesson being learned in my life. So, where do you find your true satisfaction and contentment? In Jesus Christ or in people, materialistic things, or situations? Just something to think about!!

La La La!!

You know, it's funny how God takes something that we see as an inconvienence and uses it to draw us closer to him. Ever since I started driving, I have been without a radio in my car. Now, to some of you, this may not seem like that big of a deal, but I love music, I love to sing (even though it doesn't sound very good) and I love to roll down the windows and crank up the music.. especially Chris Tomlin and Switchfoot. So, I complained a lot at first about not having a radio to listen to or being able to pop in a CD at the drop of a hat. Well, God took my complaints and turned them to blessings. My drives in the car are now used to sing praise songs to my Savior and to talk to Him, my best friend about whatever is on my mind. I am sure that other drivers think I have gone insane and am talking to myself, but it rocks!! It's amazing how God uses something as small as a radio not working to bring me closer to Him. Sometimes, I just sit in the car and cry, pray, sing, hum, shout, whatever.. it doesn't matter. Not knocking devotional books at all, but for me personally, my time alone in the car with God has brought me closer to him than reading a devotional book, or verse of the day. The song that God has been putting in my heart, soul and mind lately is one that I have known since youth camp in ninth grade. It describes perfectly where I am in life now and how much I love God and want to grow closer to him.

Give me one pure and holy passion.
Give me magnificent obsession.
Give me one glorious ambition for my life,
To know and follow hard after you.
To know and follow hard after you.
To grow as your disciple in your truth.
This world is empty, pale and poor, compared to knowing you my Lord,
So, lead me on, and I will run after you.
Lead me on, and I will run after you.

There are so many people in life who have no drive, focus and ambition. They are happy staying in the same spot, and never moving forward. This isn't me. I want Jesus to be my passion and my obsession. I want to chase after Him and grow closer to Him more than anything-more than friends, more than a career, more than a family, fame or fortune. All these things are great, but they don't last. I want to keep my eyes on Jesus and run towards Him with a drive and force that is stronger than any other feeling you can ever imagine. JESUS IS MY PASSION AND MY OBSESSION!! Is He yours?

Compassion at it's finest!!

You know, it's kinda interesting how close you can get to your friends. I love all of my InnerG and Chicopee friends a lot and when one of you are hurting, I hurt too. I know that sounds like a silly little cliche, but it is true. Last night, after talking to Anthony on the phone and letting him know that I love him and that I would be here if he needed me, I just laid in my bed and cried for an hour. I cried for Anthony.. for his loss.. for his sadness... I prayed to God that his dad was saved and that he is spending eternity with Him. I prayed for comfort for the family and friends of Mr. Massaro. I never met the man, but somehow for that brief hour, I felt as if I had known him my entire life. Then, today at school, this lady had a seizure and was swept away on a stretcher. Once again, I found tears filling my eyes and being overcome with a wave of emotions... sadness, confusion, anger that I haven't talked to her or gotten to know her.. I know it may sound crazy, but I have been praying that God would give me more compassion for others and I guess that it is happening, slowly but surely. From little things, like friends breaking up or failing a test, to death and illness. I am learning more and more and have been learning in the past five and a half years that life is short and you never know what can happen. I just thank God that Anthony got to see his dad last month and I hope and pray that I get to talk to the lady at Gainesville College and get to know her better. This is what Jesus did.. He carried our pain, sadness, disappointments and every other emotion on His shoulders and cared more about others than Himself. I call it rockin and Webster's calls is Compassion. Just a thought

What a Bum!!!

This week has definitely been one of sadness, depression and disappointment. I mean, not only did my brother leave to go to Iraq on Monday, but I am still looking for a job. I didn't think it would be such a hard task. Tori, girl, I know how you feel. I have had a few interviews and filled out dozens of applications, but so far, nothing has worked out for me. You know, I know that God is trying to teach me something through all this, I just really wished I knew what it was. I mean, I have no money. My dad has been putting gas in my car and I have car insurance and a credit card bill due within the next three weeks. Believe me, I know that God will provide, he always does. I just need a job desperately. I mean, taking one class and coming home to twiddle my thumbs is getting old fast. I have watched an entire box set of Felicity, Season One and the First Season of Golden Girls in the past two weeks.. talk about not having a life. Anyways, didn't mean to vent or complain, that is just where I am right now. I know that this isn't permanent and that I will find a job soon, I just hate waiting..Hey, maybe God is trying to teach me patience. Anyways, the jobless bum will go for now and run my mouth in the student center, since I have nothing else to do with my life right now!!!

My brother, my hero!!!

Well, when I got home from church last night, my dad told me that my brother Jeremy had called and said that he was leaving in an hour to board a plane to go to Iraq to fight for our country. A pang of panic shot through me. I mean, I knew he was going, but I don't think that I was prepared for him to leave yet. He has been married for a little over a year and I hardly get to see him, so this really stinks. I mean, he has been preparing for this moment for his entire life. Ever since he was little, he has known what he wanted to do. He has had a passion and a desire to be in the Army since he was about eight. So here is the thing, I mean of course I am worried about him dying in the line of duty, but I can't dwell on that. My thing is that I didn't get to talk to him last night and tell him good-bye. He got to talk to my dad and my little brother, but I wasn't home. I can't stand the fact that something could happen to him and he wouldn't know or get to hear me say I love him and am proud of him. I know that I can't sit around and dwell on it, or it will drive me crazy, but it kept me awake half of the night.

It's kinda like the whole thing with my mom. I mean, I got to tell her that I loved her and good-bye, but it was while she was in ICU on a ventilator. I mean, I don't even know if she heard me. For my sanity, I believe that she did, but I can't be certain. I just don't want the same thing to happen with my brother Jeremy. Everyone please pray for him. It will be a few weeks before we can talk to him or anything. Also, pray for my sister-in-law and my dad, who are taking it the hardest. I am so proud of my brother and have always considered him one of my heroes in life. I am filled with honor and appreciation that he would risk his life for our country.. I only wish I had that kind of boldness and courage. Just keep him in your prayers and I will let you know when I hear from him.


On Another note, American Idol starts tonight.. YAY!! I will be in the front row, eyes glued to the TV for two hours straight.. pathetic, I know, but that's just the way it is!!

Work!!

Hey!! Well, my first day of work was pretty bad. The people were rude, the kids were little heathens and I learned that "being nice" just doesn't work all the time. I mean, the lady that is in charge of the afterschool program is rude and didn't explain anything to me, she left it up to the lady I am working with. Two girls in afterschool, one whose grandma is the owner and the other whose mom is the secretary ran into lockers, flipped off chairs and did headstands in the middle of the classroom. They didn't listen at all when I told them to stop and they think that just because their relatives work there that they don't have to do anything... it makes me sick. I don't know what to do. I mean, I know it was only the first day, but first impressions are very important and their's wasn't good. One kid called the teacher a butthole because she wouldn't let him do something that he wanted to do.

I spent last night in bed, thinking praying and crying. I mean, I wanna give it a try, but I don't want to be miserable. Chestnut Mountain Academy called yesterday. Maybe I will call them back and see if they will give me more hours and treat me better. I shouldn't have to put up with rude people, on my first day. I am so confused. I don't know what to do. Any suggestions? HELP!!!

Answered Prayer

I have great news today.. I am no longer a jobless bum... I got a job yesterday, within four hours of filling out the application. I am going to start tomorrow... at a daycare center in Auburn, about 15 minutes from my house. I will be working at the afterschool program Monday thru Friday from 2:45-6:30. I am really excited because I will be working with kids, which are my passion and my love. It will also look good on my resume and for my future career as a teacher. God has really been providing for me lately and just blessing my socks off. He has been showing me that He is in charge and that He will take care of me, no matter what.

Statistics class is going pretty good too. It is definitely easier the second time around, I might add. I am still growing in the Lord and He is revealing Himself to me every day. I am reading the Five Love Languages of God and how to relate to others and use your gifts that God gave you to your advantage. It is really quite interesting and I will be talking about it from time to time. Well, it is 8:00 in the morning, I am working on my second cup of caffeine and just playing on the computer. Just wanted to let you guys and girls know how awesome God is and how much He ROCKS MY FACE OFF!!!

laziness

All I know is I need to hurry up and find a job, because I am going crazy. I mean, sitting at home, being lazy and watching DVD's all day was cool for a day or so, but now it is getting old. Anyone who knows me knows that I have to be moving around and doing something all the time. I would work to give me something to do, even if I didn't need the money, which I do. I know that the right job is out there for me, it is just finding it, ya know? Anyways, that is where I am off to now, to hand out resumes and fill out applications. I will let you know if I get a job or not.

Growing

I look back over 2004 and realize how much I have grown, accomplished some huge goals and become more independent. Heather and I were talking about this the other night. I got my driver's license, which to some of you may not seem like a big deal, but it was something that I needed and had to do, I have learned a lot of things about myself, like how to be happy single, to rely more on God, instead of myself and others, and how sometimes you care about people so much that you have to let them go. I could probably write a book on everything that God has shown me in the past year. It was definitely the most incredible year of my life. I only hope and pray that 2005 will be as killer as 2004 was.

The job hunt has begun. As Tori can attest to, it is a grueling, drawn out process... get application, fill out application, wait on them to call, you call them, wait some more, have the interview only to hear them tell you that A) they already hired someone else B) you aren't qualified, or are over qualified for the position or C) we aren't hiring anymore. However, God is my Jehovah Jireh, as He has been showing me lately and He will allow me to find a job that suits my needs and helps me live for Him. So, God can keep rocking my face off. I am going home now to get more applications and take a nap. See you guys tomorrow night at Ashlie's send off party.

I'm baaaaaaaaaaack!!!

Hey Guys!!
It's good to be back on the blog. Unfortunately, I made a D in Statistics and have to be at GC for another semester to retake it. Although, there must be a reason for it. God is my Jehovah Jirah.. my provider and he has totally been rocking my face off lately. My class was going to cost $238 and I have about $250 in my checking account. Well, I went to register yesterday and my tuition was only $38, because of a previous scholarship that had been granted for two semesters, instead of one. Then, my last paycheck at GC was supposed to be for one week, but it was for two, so I ended up with more money in my account, than I started with. God rocks. I had been praying that God would provide and he did. Now, I have money for my car insurance. I can't do work study, so I am in search of a job, but I know that God will provide that too. I am not worried. I am putting my complete faith and trust in Him. I will go for now... eat lunch and work out. Talk to you soon.

last post

Hey Guys.
This will be my last post for a while, unless I failed my Statistics Class and have to come back to GC and take it next semester. I will try to post every once in a while, when I am at a computer. Just wanted to let you know. I am feeling a little sick and do not like not knowing what I am going to do next in my life. I am very organized, structured person and love planning things. It drives me crazy to think that I have no clue what I am going to do. Hope to see you all soon.

About Me!!

I got this idea from Heather to write out 100 things about me that you may or may not no. So, grab some popcorn and a coke and enjoy the show:


1. I love to talk!!
2. Talk on the phone
3. Talk in person
4. Talk to my dog, it doesn't matter!!
5. My mom is my hero
6. She passed away five years ago
7. she had Lymphoma Cancer
8. She was only 37 years old
9. I hate needles
10. and pain
11. and blood
12. and spiders
13. and snakes
14 and anything that is creepy and crawly
15. Kenny Chesney is hot!!
16. peanut butter, mayonnaise and banana sandwiches are delicious
17. I eat ketchup on everything, well, almost everything
18. I love Chick-Fil-A
19 and Starbucks
20 and Wendy's 99 cent value meal
21. Psalm 139 is my favorite
22. "It is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all."
23. Mistakes are meant to be learned from, not repeated.
24. I am obsessed with butterflies
25. and purple
26. My dream is to visit Costa Rica
27. and get my poetry published
28. Jesus is the Lover of my Soul
29. I cry at every movie I watch
30. I have a poodle
31. She weighs six pounds
32. and is spoiled rotten
33. I always wished I had a sister
34. But got three brothers instead
35. Golden Girls is my favorite sitcom
36. Maya Angelou is my favorite poet
37. I know every word to every nursery rhyme
38. and every Barney Song
39. and every theme song from every TV show I ever watched.
40. The Price Is Right is the best game show ever.
41. I have a secret crush
42. I love to ride Harleys
43. and wear leather
44. I have serious issues with intolerance
45. People who have babies and don't take care of them sadden me
46. I love kids
47. and puppies
48 and chocolate
49 Billy Graham is my hero
50. I love the Gaithers
51. 1 Corinthians 13 is my favorite chapter in the entire Bible
52. Alex Van Martin is the funniest guy I know
53. My best physical attribute is my smile
54. I have a hard time with confrontation
55. and saying NO
56. and hurting people's feelings
57. I love Elvis Presley
58. and Lynrd Skynrd
59. I know every word to The Dirty Dancing movie
60. Spongebob Squarepants is my favorite Cartoon
61. Oh, and Veggietales
62. My Cd's and DVD's are alphabetized
63 I am an organizational neat freak
64. I didn't learn how to swallow pills until 2 years ago
65. I didn't get my driver's license until 3 months ago
66. My cars name is Bonita Blanca
67. I have every card that anyone has ever given me since middle school
68. I have never been in the hospital or had a broken bone
69 which is amazing, considering that I am very clumsy
70. I fell every year of my high school career
71. I had a crush on the same guy for 7 years
72 and he never knew
73 I have an 11 ft closet filled to the brim
74. with clothes I got off of clearance racks,
75 sales racks, or thrift stores
76, Walmart is my favorite store in the universe
77. Love Spell by Victoria Secret is my favorite scent
78. I am a mean Scrabble Player
79 I love mushrooms
80 I recently became a Georgia fan
82 Go Dawgs!!
83 Statistics is the most horrible class ever
84. I am definitely a daddy's girl
85. I wish I were taller
86 and that I were more athletic
87 I am a social butterfly
88 and love hanging out with my friends
89. My dad is an ordained minister
90. InnerG and Chicopee rock my face off
91. My favorite band-hands down.. Finish Line
92. I love turtlenecks and sweaters
93. I am extremely cold natured
94 I love Joyce Meyer and Beth Moore
95 I am tenderhearted and very emotional
96. I don't understand the male species, and probably never will
97. I am a word search fein
98. I am so glad that I made this list
99. I am so glad that you are reading it
100. and I love you all very much.

God Rocks my Face off!

Hey Guys!!
I just wanna tell you how much God rocks my face off. As you all know, this is my last week at GC and my last week at my job. I am starting to job hunt. I have been freaking out about money. I have a car insurance payment due in January and a Credit Card Bill to pay off. I will get one more pay check and that is it. I have no idea how I am going to pay it all right? So, what do I do? I start complaining to God and whining and telling him that I am worried about money. I asked Him to provide me a way to pay my bills. Well, yesterday at work, one of my previous teachers came in and said that she was gonna be out of town for eleven days after Christmas and she will pay me $ 20 a day to come and feed her dogs and leave. I have to drive to Gainesville, but that $220 will pay my car insurance. Isn't God good?

Props to Kelly Adams... 3 A's and 2 B's and on the Dean's list at North Georgia College and State University. I am so proud of her. She is awesome.

Going to go study for my Stats final, go to Wal-mart with Kel and pick out my present for the InnerG party, then go see Newsong and David Glen for Free... life is great!!

Brrrr... It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas!!!

Hey Guys!! Well, I have one more final on Friday and my career at Gainesville College will be over. It's kind of sad, yet the feeling of accomplishment is great. I don't know if I will be able to continue to write in my blog, since I don't have Internet access at my house, but I will try to post as often as I can.

As we were watching Charlie Brown's Christmas last night, I was reminded of the real meaning of Christmas. I have always been big on buying presents, even if I don't have the money, and giving to others, which is all well and good, but sometimes I neglect to see or recognize the real reason for the season. Last night was a good reminder of my priorities and my mind set. Well, Heather, you have the cold weather, now we just need the snow. I love this time of year... wearing hats and scarves, drinking hot chocolate and eating gingerbread cookies, wrapping presents and decorating the tree.. Christmas is definitely my favorite Holiday.

Guess what I am getting for Christmas? The Golden Girls First Season Box Set.. I am so excited. I love that show. It is hilarious. I am still looking for a job, so if anyone hears anything, please let me know. I am going to hand out resumes and job hunt tomorrow, study for a STATS test and hopefully go to the Newsong/David Glen Concert at Blackshear Place tomorrow night!!! Hope to talk to you all soon.

Moving On!!!

Have you ever noticed that life is full of change? You stay in one place for awhile, get comfortable and then have to move on to the next stage? That is how I feel right now. As the tears roll down my cheeks, I have come to the horrifying realization that next week is my last one at Gainesville College. Most of you would probably be saying Woo-Hoo, as you would enjoy the fact that you are moving on to bigger and better things. But not me. I have been at Gainesville College for four years, I am here more than I am home and everyone here is like my family. The teachers, students, faculty and staff... even the custodians... I have gotten to know them all so well. Today was my last official BSU as a Gainesville College student and everyone kept telling me how much I meant to them and how much they are going to miss them. I hope that I have made an impact on people's lives in the past four years. I hope that everyone knows how much they have meant in my life as well. They don't even know the half of it.. I am going to miss them way more than they are going to miss me. I know that change and moving on is all a part of growing up, but it hurts. Everything good in my life always somehow gets taken away from me and I am left feeling all alone. I know some of you may think I am being overdramatic, but it's the truth. My last week of working out, my last week of sitting in the Student Center at lunch and talking and laughing with the gang, my last day of waving at familiar faces as I go down the hall, my last day of fighting to find a good parking space that is close to my classes, my last day of going to the Spanish lab and working on projects in the ACTT Center.. the list goes on and on.

I have no idea what my future holds. I have no job, haven't applied to North Georgia yet and have no idea how I will pay to go there when I do. I am scared to death to move away from home. Even though I am not home a lot, I depend on my family for a lot of things. I am so scared and so uncertain about my future. I know that God's ways are bigger than mine, but I hate change and this week is going to be really hard for me. Just pray for me, please!!! I love you all. You rock my face off!!!

Forgiveness

I was talking to a friend the other day about forgiveness. She is having a hard time forgiving one of our other friends and letting go of the things that she did to her. She wanted to know my opinion on the matter. Well, we all know that I am very opiniated and have something to say about everything. I told her about my mom and how for a long time, I had a hard time forgiving myself for things I had said and done to my mom to hurt her, before she passed away and now there is nothing I can do about it and no way to fix it. I told her to imagine the worse thing that anyone has ever done, said or thought to hurt her. This thing is nothing in comparision to what we do to hurt Jesus everyday when we sin. Jesus forgives us, so we are commanded to forgive one another. She also asked me if after you forgive someone, is it ok to still hurt about what they did to you. I told her yes. Jesus doesn't expect us to just forget about the hurt, even if we forgave the person. We are human and our flesh will still hurt, no matter what. We just have to figure out a way to deal with it and move on. If you have unforgiveness in your heart and you hold grudges against others, then you will lead a very miserable life.

On another note, David said that he enjoyed some parts of InnerG, but not others. He said that some of the things Johnny said were very insightful, but others were too preachy for his tastes. He didn't like the fact that we stand up and clap during worship time. He said that overall he is glad that he came, but he probably won't be back, unless it is strictly a social event, like the Christmas party!!! Oh well, I have done all I can do. I have exhausted all of my resources to plant the seed to allow him to get saved. It is now completely in God's hands. All I have left to give is to love him and show him Jesus through my actions, which is what I have been doing and will continue to do. Just continue to pray for him and for his heart and his soul.

To Forgive or Not Forgive.. That is the Question!!

I had a very interesting talk with a friend today about forgiveness. She is having a hard time forgiving someone who hurt her a lot and she wanted my opinion on it. Well, God has been showing me lately that I need to watch what I say to people and how I act towards them, because you never know when those words will come back to bite you in the bum. Anyways, I told her to think of every horrible thing she has ever, done, said or thought and to remember that God has forgiven her of all these things. Nothing that anyone can do to you can be as bad as when we sin against God. If God can forgive us, we should be able to forgive others. He never said that it would be easy, but we must do it. Then she wanted to know if it was ok to forgive somone and it still hurt... ABSOLUTELY!! Jesus didn't say to forgive and forget, He just said forgive. Being human, it is impossible to forget that someone has done us wrong, however we should forgive them and move on. Don't hold grudges or be unforgiving or you will be miserable. Believe me, I know!!! One of the custodians heard us talking and she said " You're a christian? No wonder you are so sweet, so am I." It was a great feeling. These are the random thoughts for today. And Heather, I am with you on the snow part. I want to be able to wear the pretty scarf that Kelly gave me for Christmas.

Here are my top Five Christmas Songs in No Particular Order:

"Winter Wonderland"
"Christmas Shoes"
"My Grown up Christmas List"
"O Holy Night"
Rockin Around the Christmas Tree"

See you tonight at InnerG.

Evil In This World

I always knew that there were thieves and vandals at Gainesville College, and everywhere in the world, but it never sunk it completely until yesterday. David and I were in the fitness center working out. I had put my purse in my bookbag in the locker in the locker room and put my clothes on top. After working out, I go to change clothes. I notice that my purse is out of my bookbag and sitting on top of it. My check book, which always stays in my wallet, is sitting on top of my bookbag. My purse is in a mess and my socks are at the bottom of it. I freak out (which is what I do in situations like that. I looked through my wallet. All my checks were still there and my credit card(Thank God!!). The only thing missing was a $10 bill which was going to be my Olive Garden money for girls night out on Saturday. The money wasn't the issue. It was the concept. I mean, for four years I have been going to GC and have never felt insecure or unsafe, until yesterday. In the past semester, artwork and patio furniture have been vandalized, cellphones and money have been stolen and I found out yesterday that two cars were stolen. The thieves stole the keys out of the locker room. Used the clicker to figure out which car it was, and got in and drove away. We live in a sick and depraved world, I am sorry to say.

More bad news... My great aunt, who is 78, lives alone and is crippled fell yesterday and broke her hip and the rod that was already in her leg. She is having surgery tomorrow, so please keep her in your prayers.

Despite all this, God is good all the time. He puts a song of praise into this heart of mine. He is the alpha, the omega, the beginning and the end.

Thanksgiving Weekend!!

Hey Guys!! Well, my Thanksgiving Break was awesome. Tiring, packed full of things to do, but awesome. I am so sick of shopping and I love to shop. If I never have to hear another cash register ringing up a purchase or hear another child whine for a toy, I will be good. Seriously though, I am so broke right now, but at least I have all of my Shopping done. It is a great feeling to not have to worry about it anymore. I ate more on Thanksgiving than I do in a month and my grandma made my two favorite things.. potato salad and banana pudding... YUMMMY!!! I love banana pudding more than chocolate and we know how much I love chocolate. I got to spend a lot of time with family over the break. Didn't crack a book, so now I am behind, but at least I got a break, right? I haven't had any more encounters with David asking me questions that I have no idea how to answer. He keeps coming up with excuses for why he won't come with me to InnerG. Maybe one day he will change his mind. Well, I'm gonna go get some Chick-Fil-A before InnerG. See you there!!

Thanksgiving Weekend!!

Hey Guys!! Well, my Thanksgiving Break was awesome. Tiring, packed full of things to do, but awesome. I am so sick of shopping and I love to shop. If I never have to hear another cash register ringing up a purchase or hear another child whine for a toy, I will be good. Seriously though, I am so broke right now, but at least I have all of my Shopping done. It is a great feeling to not have to worry about it anymore. I ate more on Thanksgiving than I do in a month and my grandma made my two favorite things.. potato salad and banana pudding... YUMMMY!!! I love banana pudding more than chocolate and we know how much I love chocolate. I got to spend a lot of time with family over the break. Didn't crack a book, so now I am behind, but at least I got a break, right? I haven't had any more encounters with David asking me questions that I have no idea how to answer. He keeps coming up with excuses for why he won't come with me to InnerG. Maybe one day he will change his mind. Well, I'm gonna go get some Chick-Fil-A before InnerG. See you there!!

I don't really have a nifty title for this blog. I don't even know what to write today, for that matter. I mean, my life is pretty insane right now. I can't wait until school is over and I have to start looking for another job. I would like to do something with one of my degrees, so if anyone has any connections, please let me know. Well, Spongebob was great. You should have seen Heather's face. She was so excited... like a little kid in a candy store. The Steven Curtis Chapman concert was great too and so was my chicken melt from Steak n Shake. Went Christmas shopping on Saturday with Tori at Discover Mills and last night to the outlet malls in Commerce. Only a few presents left to buy, which is a good thing, since my bank account is getting lower and lower. Can't wait til Thanksgiving. Going to my grandma's and boy, can she cook. It will be a great stress reliever before finals. I still have so much more school work to do in the next two weeks, it is unbelievable. Oh well, that which doesn't kill me will make me stronger, huh? Speaking of school, have to go to the infamous Spanish lab right now. Catch you later.

Slow Motion

Heather's lesson on Parent-child relationships on Monday night really got my wheels churning. It takes me back to six years ago, to when I found out that my mom had cancer. My mom and I were never very close and my dad and I would go hang out on the weekends and my mom would stay at home. It's not that I didn't want to be close to my mom, we just never found a way to tear down the wall and be close. There are so many things that I wish I could go back and say to her and do for her that I didn't do and so many things that I did say and do to her that I wish I didn't. I felt really guilty about it for a long time. But, then I realized that I was just a kid and that my mom knew how much I loved and cared about her. My dad and I's relationship has changed tremendously since my mom passed away. We aren't as close as we used to be and know I have my stepmom and we have to share him in a way. It is really hard sometimes. I mean, we hang out, go out to eat and go shopping together, but it isn't the same. The older I get, the more I wish I had my mom here. I really feel that we would be closer now and that she would be my best friend. Just thinking of her brings tears to my eyes. I haven't talked about her or cried about it in a long time, but I think about her everyday.

All of this rambling is to say that you should cherish your parents. Tell them and/or show them as much as you can that you love them. You never know when they could be gone. I never thought that I would be 17 years old and not have my mom to see me graduate, go to college, get a degree, get my license, etc. I know she is in a better place, but it hurts like crap, for lack of a better word. Spend time with them, love on them and let them know that you care. Believe me, you don't want to have to regret how you treated them later. Just a thought.

Slow Motion

Heather's lesson on parent-child relationships really got me to thinking last night. I wish that I could rewind my life back about six years ago. I wish I could go back to before I found out my mom had cancer. There are so many things that I would have done differently and so many things that I would have said to her that I didn't. Everything happened so fast. We found out she had cancer in January of 1999. The fourth of July she went in the hospital, was put on a ventilator in ICU and three weeks later on July 24, 1999, she passed away. I wish I would have shown her and told her how much I valued and loved her. I struggled with guilt and resentment for a long time. It wasn't until recently that I realized that my mom knew how much I loved her.. I listened to God when he told me she wasn't saved. I talked to her and God used a family friend to lead her to him. So, now I have the satisfaction of knowing that she will be spending eternity with Jesus. That is the most comforting feeling ever.

Now, things are different with my dad and stepmom. My daddy and I aren't as close as we were when my mom was alive. I have grown up a lot and learned more than I could ever explain to you. However, I do value my dad and my step mom. We hang out and talk. Most of the time we butt heads and disagree, but I respect their opinions and they respect mine. Family is very important to me, as well as friends. Talk to you later!!!

I don't get it!!!

Have you ever been convicted by God to do something, or not do something, and then had to listen to people tell you that you are crazy for doing that thing? This happened to me yesterday. My friend David asked me out the other day. As much as I wanted to say yes, I had to say no, because he isn't a christian. God convicted me about not dating non-believers a long time ago, so I knew what I had to do. I was talking to my parents about it last night, and Rachael, my step mom, totally dissed me and said that I was judging him and that if I found something wrong with every guy that came along, I would be lonely and miserable forever. Nice thought, huh? Talk about degrading my pride, right? I don't understand how someone can criticize me for doing what God tells me to do. It doesn't make sense.

I am not going to worry about it too much. I must do what God tells me to do. It's all about obedience and sacrifice. He is the only one who truly matters. " To obey is better than sacrifice."

persecution

persecution

You know how Jesus helped everyone, always did the right thing and was concerned for all of mankind? But, there were always those people who rejected him, no matter how hard he tried to show them the way? I felt like that last night. I was talking to my parents about David and how he really wants to date me, but I had to tell him no because he isn't a christian. This is something that God convicted me about a long time ago and I can't budge on it, no matter what. Although it was really hard for me to do this, I did it. Well, my stepmom, Rachael totally dissed me and said that I was judging him and that if I find something wrong with every guy that comes along, then I will be lonely for the rest of my life. Talk about wounding my pride, huh? It's funny how one person's rejection can make you feel discouraged and angry.

I don't care what she says. I have to do what God tells me to do. Salvation is very important on my "What I want in my future husband list," as a matter of fact it is #1. So, I guess that she can have her opinion and I can have mine. It's all about sacrifice and obedience.. God has been showing me that too. So, even if I get persecuted, or shot down, for certain things I believe, it won't change the fact that if God says it, I must do it. So, bring it on!!!

persecution

You know how Jesus helped everyone, always did the right thing and was concerned for all of mankind? But, there were always those people who rejected him, no matter how hard he tried to show them the way? I felt like that last night. I was talking to my parents about David and how he really wants to date me, but I had to tell him no because he isn't a christian. This is something that God convicted me about a long time ago and I can't budge on it, no matter what. Although it was really hard for me to do this, I did it. Well, my stepmom, Rachael totally dissed me and said that I was judging him and that if I find something wrong with every guy that comes along, then I will be lonely for the rest of my life. Talk about wounding my pride, huh? It's funny how one person's rejection can make you feel discouraged and angry.

I don't care what she says. I have to do what God tells me to do. Salvation is very important on my "What I want in my future husband list," as a matter of fact it is #1. So, I guess that she can have her opinion and I can have mine. It's all about sacrifice and obedience.. God has been showing me that too. So, even if I get persecuted, or shot down, for certain things I believe, it won't change the fact that if God says it, I must do it. So, bring it on!!!

The Courageous Lion Strikes!!

As I look over my life in the past few weeks, I am reminded of the Wizard of Oz. I feel like the cowardly lion, who wanted so badly to gain courage and boldness. I have been praying for that lately. Just a word of advice.. don't pray for something, unless you really want it and are ready for it. The past two weeks of my life have been chock full of opportunities to be bold and amazingly, I have passed the test with flying colors. It's weird how I was so bold. It had to come from God, because I am too nice and tend to let others walk all over me. But, as one of my classmates said, who used to be like me: she was tired of dusting the foot prints off of her back. I think I am to that point to. " God didn't give us a spirit of fear, but of courage, love and a sound mind." This has been my life verse lately.

So, bring it on. I am ready to take on whatever life throws my way!!! With Jesus as my Lord, I can surpass and rise above any one or anything. Just a thought!!

Friends are Friends Forever

Hey Guys!! As you can see, I made it home safely. This whole ordeal has made me very thankful for my awesome support system and group of friends. Just to think that people spent two and three hours looking for me and were worried about my well being, brings tears to my eyes. I am very blessed to have such wonderful friends. It reminds me of the song that says,

" A friend's a friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them and a friend will not say never, though the welcome will not end. A lifetime is not too long to live as friends."

So, thanks to everyone for your love and support and the next time I go anywhere late at night, I will call two or three of you and let you know where I am, ok? I guess that means that I have to get more minutes for my cell phone, so you guys can stalk me and find out where I am. Just kidding. I love you guys very much and will talk to you soon.

To believe or not to believe...that is the question!!!!

I found out yesterday that my friend David believes that there is a god, but that he doesn't have any involvement in our everyday lives, he just kind of sits in the sky and watches us. The great part is that he believes there is a god. I asked him about church and he said that you don't have to go to church to believe in something. That is so true. But, I told him that church is where people who believe in the same things go to give praise to and talk about that thing that they believe in. I told him that Heather and I were going to get him a Message Bible and that I would be praying that God would convict him. We talked about God for about 30 or 40 minutes. It was great!! I was afraid of offending him or pushing him away, but God totally helped me out. He opened up the door and I took it. Keep praying for him. I believe that God is going to do something totally awesome in his life and hopefully, I will get to be a part of it.

On another note, yay Bush!! You go boy!! Another answered prayer. God is so good!! He reveals Himself in small things and in big things, it doesn't matter. He rocks my face off. I will keep you posted on the David issue and I will let you know of any new developments. Later.

Support

This weekend at Upwards Basketball I was asked to give my testimony during half time. I told Derrick that I didn't know what to say. He told me to think about it. As I was sitting in the gym talking to Heather, I realized that all of those children were blessed to have their family and friends sitting there watching them play basketball. I decided that this is what I would relay to the adults there. I was reminded of my own parents who were at every football game, home and away for four years, to watch me march. Even after my mom got cancer and underwent chemo treatments, she came to my games and sat in the car and watched me. My parents love and support is what has helped make me who I am today. That's why friends are so important to me and I am always concerned with the well being of others. The main reason why robberies, murders and other crimes are committed is because the culprits are crying out to be heard and to have someone pay them attention.

I have been struggling lately with encouraging people, instead of judging them and finding the good in others. I am reminded that I should support and love the people in my life as my parents did me. But, more importantly, the way that my heavenly father loves and supports me. He is the same loving, caring, accepting God every day. He never changes. He loves and supports me when I do a good job, when I mess up, when I am happy, when I am sad.. it doesn't matter. You will never know how much a kind word or an encouraging pat on the back or "good job" can mean to someone. Just a thought.

Support

Upwards Basketball

Upwards Basketball this weekend was an amazing experience. There were so many kids from so many different places in the world all coming together to play basketball. It was incredible. There was my buddy David who came early to practice and made like 40 baskets in a row. Then his buddy Romulus came to join him. They were so cute. Chum was a little girl who was in pre-k who just came with her sister. She followed us around everywhere and is in every other pic that Heather took. I ran the score board and the clock(not my fav, too much multi-tasking), sat at the registration table and watched two girls play MASH, a game I played in middle school and a little boy wrote me a check for a trillion dollars. I also played with the kids on the playground for a little while. It was lots of fun. More details later. Gotta go to Spanish.

under the weather

hey guys. It's been a long week. Haven't felt like myself. Took a day off from school yesterday. I just feel totally wiped out!! I think I have Ashlie's problem... I committ to too many things and get overextended. Oh well, that's the perks of being a social butterfly. Nothing much new here... just school and work. Get to hang out with KElly this weekend and go to a Halloween Party, then Upwards Basketball and 90's day at church.. FUN, FUN, FUN!! Gotta go do some more work, before I go to Beth's house. Talk to you later.

Has this ever happened to you?

Have you ever wanted something that you couldn't have? And you knew why you couldn't have it, but it still didn't make any sense? God has been showing Himself to me in a situation that deals with this. It's funny how He has a way of showing us little things that make us realize that the big picture would never work out. Ok... so, I have this friend David, the one who is into witchcraft and except for the fact that he isn't a christian and has a bad potty mouth, he is a great guy. Well, I realized today how much little things he does gets on my nerves and how, at one point, when I was considering dating him (even though I never would), I thought that he was the greatest guy. I mean he is nice and all, but I never realized how much small things matter in the long scheme of things. Like, how he has to always have the last word, and always be right (even if he is wrong). While he is very encouraging and makes me press on when I am working out and he always compliments me and has my best interest at heart, it will and can never work.

My heart aches to know that if He died today, He would spend eternity in Hell. I care about him as a friend and I have his eternity in mind. I don't know what to do. Should I quote scriptures to him? Should I keep doing what I have been doing.. invite him to our socials and to church? Should I ask him about his beliefs (as Ashlie suggested)? I feel as if ever since I found out that he practiced witchcraft I have acted differently towards him. I haven't been as nice and flirty and sweet.. like I was before. Now, I hate to admit that sometimes I dread seeing him and it is very evident (ask Sarah about that one). I feel as if my witness should be stronger, but I am slipping away. I am so hurt, angry and aggravated. I don't know what to do. Does any one have any suggestions?

busiest weekend ever!!

Hey guys!! Yeah, so Sarah and I didn't get any Spanish done this weekend. I feel as if this was the busiest weekend of my entire life. The leadership meeting on Friday went great. We got a lot of things planned out. El Sombrero was ok... I liked the company,but the cheese rice was too spicy to eat. Saturday I was in downtown Winder at an Indian Festival persuading people to buy boiled peanuts from my little bro. By the way, I think I am going to go into the peanut business with him. He made $350 in like 7 hours. That's like 6 weeks worth of my pay checks. Oh yeah, speaking of my brother, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HIM!! HE is the BIG 14!!!!!!!Then on Saturday night, we ate pizza and decorated the church for eighties day. I got to hang out with my brother all weekend. He came to church with me yesterday and then last night, we went and heard Matt, Anthony, Kenny and Derrick play at Kenny's dad's church in Winder. They rocked my face off. So, I was really busy this weekend. Now, it is back to the wonderful world of school. So much to do and so little time to do it. That's my life!!

El mundo do Espanol

Como Estas? Muy bien gracias, y tu? Asi Asi. Yo tengo muchos palabras y la tarea... oh, sorry, back to the world of English. and sorry there are no accents, modern day technology won't allow me to insert those in my emails. I feel as if all I have been doing lately is Spanish. Spanish lab, Spanish homework, Spanish worksheets, it goes on and on. Actually, Sarah and I are going to the Spanish lab now and then off to Blackshear Place Library to study more before the leadership meeting. YAY!! I am so excited. Can't wait til Sunday.. Eighties day.. my generation... Rainbow Brite, My little Ponies, Fraggle Rock, Care Bear Stare, Lady Lovely Locks, and Dean's fav.. Heman. I can't wait. Well, I must go now. Talk to you later.

"Don't Sweat the Small Stuff"

How many times have we heard the saying, " Don't sweat the small stuff." I needed to apply that to my life today, but I didn't. Have you ever had one of those days when the smallest thing that someone says or does annoys the snot out of you and sends you into tears? Today was that day for me. There were several times today when I had to walk away because I was afraid if I didn't that I would say something that I would regret later. I should have not let these things bother me, but they did. I am better now, but I just wish I would have applied that phrase in these situations.

So, I don't really know much about this witchcraft stuff that my friend is involved in. I mean, does he just support believers of wicca, or does he actually own a widgie board and go to seyonces? I feel as if I am getting into something that I know nothing about. All I can do is pray that God will convict him and open the eyes of his heart to realize that he needs Jesus. All I know is that I can't and won't give up on him and walk away. I must perservere, even if I am uncomfortable and uneasy. It is my duty, honor and priviledge to share Jesus to him. Anyways, that is my spill for now. I have to go do Spanish now.. that is all I ever do... Spanish.

Rain, Rain Go Away!!!

Hey Guys!! Is today a yucky day or what? I was late to work today because of the rain and a wreck in Chestnut Mountain. I get to work and find that my boss is out sick. So, I get to man the office by myself. The phone only rings once every few hours and teachers come in wanting to know things that I know nothing about. I am so very bored today. Oh well.

Just listening to some praise and worship music on Launchcast and thinking of how great God is. Even on days like today, when you want to stay in bed, He continues to show His grace to me. Like this morning, driving to work, I was really flippin out about the rain. I just prayed that He would help me stay calm and get to school in one piece and HE did!!! God is good. I have been dealing with a lot of things lately with some very important people in my life. I don't exactly know how to handle those situations, but I know that God does. So, I am giving it all to Him and allowing Him to work in me and through me and show me what to do. Because I don't have a clue. HE rocks my face off. Well, I am going to go see if Heather is back on Instant Messenger and chat with her a while. Until next time!!!

R&R

This weekend was all about rest and relaxation. For the first weekend in forever, I didn't have a test to study for, a paper to write or notes to take. I spent all weekend getting some well deserved rest and having fun of course. The corn maze was awesome. It was really cold, but I made it. I couldn't feel my nose or my feet, but I survived. Freddie and David were great with directions and we beat everyone out of two mazes and had to wait thirty minutes on everyone else. You rock guys!!! Waffle House was a hoot. I got to see Ashlie wince each time that one of Matt's country songs came on the juke box. My philly cheese steak and hashbrowns were great. Then, I spent the night with Heather... we had girl talk. She had to be at work the next morning, so I had her entire house to myself. It was great... just me, Nala, and Margs. Then, Amy came home and made us dinner... red meat special,.. it was yummy!! I went home, went to a wedding... yay... we had a full course meal there.. it was yummy!! Then, Sarah and I rode together to the bonfire at Matt, Kenny and Anthony's house. We played this mean game with the guys that MB said they play in Maldova. It was fun. Then, we played three rounds of Maffia.... our fav game.

Church was great on Sunday... it was hilarious seeing Daniel Merck in a fro. The disco ball and the crazy lights that gave me a headache were great too. Then, I came home and ate mac and cheese with my brother, watched "Dead Man Walking" and did laundry. Last night, Tammy and I walked around the track at the high school and went to Loco's for dinner. I had lots of fun this weekend. Then, I get to school today and realize all of the projects and presentations and tests that are piling up. I just want to go back to my R&R, but oh well, life goes on. Ce la vie!!! (I think that is how you spell it). My Stats class got cancelled, so I am going to catch up on my Spanish!! Peace out!!

Today

Today was better than yesterday by a long shot. I feel like I got a lot more accomplished. I was feeling better until about an hour ago... when all of a sudden nauseousness hit me and it hasn't left yet. I was gonna go to church with Beth, but I am going home. I feel horrible. I never get sick, so hopefully I will feel better in the morning. Bonita is having issues. She is guzzling gas. Dad says it's the fuel pump or fuel filter... I know nothing about cars. Her headlights are as good as new though.. YAY!! I am excited about the corn maze. It is gonna be freezing, though. I am going home now. LAter!!!

My Day was Okay

Hey Guys! Today hasn't been one of the better days I've been having lately. I have been struggling big time in Spanish and I think I failed another test. I go to the Spanish Lab, but to no avail. The grammar and tenses are kicking my tail. I went to work out today and I was tired even before I started. I mean, usually I am pumped up and ready to go, but today I just feel BLLLLAAAAHHH!! Know the feeling? I just want to go home, lay in my bed and do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!! I have a $30 late fee on my credit card bill because my stamp fell off in the mail and after I pay for car insurance and the CC Bill, I will officially be broke again. Oh well, at least I'm not starving, right? I know that I need to be grateful for what I have. Also, my best friend is angry with me for a really stupid reason and that really stinks. Maybe tomorrow will be better. Work isn't as draining as school. I probably feel like crap because I haven't eaten anything remotely healthy today. I had fries and a Reese's peanut butter cup for lunch and goldfish and teddy grahams in my SPED class. I haven't had any water or anything today. Maybe that would explain my lack of energy. Oh well, tomorrow is a new day, right?

My New Career!!!

Hey Guys!! I think that I have found my new calling in life.... being a back up singer for David Glenn. For those of you who weren't there last night, not only did you miss a great concert, but you missed my singing debut. It was great. It's a good thing I am not shy. Too bad I was so short that I couldn't reach the microphone. The donuts were awesome too. My brothers said thanks when I took a box home. Well, I am at work. It's a coffee morning and I don't like coffee... cappuccino, but not coffee. I got like 9 hours of sleep and I feel like I got 2 or 3. Maybe I slept too much, who knows? My boss says I have a big project to work on today, so YAY!!! I would rather have something to do than be bored. It makes the time pass by faster. Today when I get home, I am going to clean Bonita's headlights and see if that helps. Actually, she is getting a bath this weekend. She is dirty. I have a Stats test tomorrow, so I will be studying tonight. Ashlie--I will have to go to 722 with you next week, k? Oh yeah, and also tonight, I have to do laundry. It's so great sharing a washer and dryer with 7 people. It's really hard to do anything when you are sharing with 7 people. I am excited about the corn maze. I have never been to one. Well, I must go and do some work, since that is what I do get paid for. Speaking of pay, this Friday is payday...YAY!!!!

The coolest weekend ever!!!

I would have to say that this was the best weekend I have had in a long time. On Friday night, Tori, Anthony, Freddie and I went to Red Lobster (Anthony's treat) and then Kenny and Ashlie joined us at the bowling alley. I didn't do too hot, but it was soooooooooo much fun. Freddie got to see my road rage as I was trying to find a parking spot at Red Lobster. On Saturday, I got to visit with my uncle who lives in Tallahassee. He came to fix our leaky roof. On Saturday night, Tori, Ashlie, Sarah, Heather and I had a girl's night. After being bummed out about Georgia's loss to Tennessee and watching Heather gloat, we went to LongHorn. My friend Lara from Gainesville College was our waitress. We just caught up on life and the usual "Girl Talk." We had the best cheese cake ever. Then, we were gonna go play putt-putt, but they were about to close. Tori's friend Eric let us Putt the first hole and the last hole. Then, we went to Starbucks (the new one on Dawsonville Hwy). Anne's boyfriend Jordan was a barista there. We decided to go to the family life center at Ashlie's church and hang out. We played bball, ping pong and Bible trivia. It was lots of fun. On Sunday, church was great. Then, my stepmom cooked a huge lunch for Freddie as a late bday gift. Anthony joined us and we have enough food left over to feed two more families. It was delicious. Last night, I went and saw Mikayla and Freddie and my parents and I watched Bill Engvall. It was great.

Then, this morning came and back to the wonderful world of school and studying. Had a Spanish test this morning. Don't think I did too hot. Have a Statistics test on Wednesday. I decided to name my car Bonita(thanks Heather). Bonita is having issues. I think she needs a new fuel filter and tomorrow after work I have to clean the lenses on her headlights, because I can't see a flippin thing at night. Anyways, have to go listen to a lecture for an hour and a half, then work out and then to the Spanish Lab. It is my usual M, W ritual. In the words of Pastor Doug yesterday, "Peace Out."

BRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!

Man,
I can't believe how cold it was when I left for school this morning. I think that we are going to have an early winter. I haven't been feeling like myself lately and I don't know why. Maybe I am just getting too stressed out and bogged down with school and work. I don't know. My brother and sister-in-law are looking for an apartment as we speak, so they should be moved out in the next week or so. Last night was spent showing my sister-in-law how to balance a checkbook and record debit card purchases in her register. That was exciting. I get to see my uncle who lives in Tallahassee Florida this weekend. Tonight I am going to Red Lobster with Anthony and Freddie! Lucky me, one girl and two guys...hahaha!!! I have to go to my cousin's wedding tomorrow and I promise I will be in church on Sunday. I Have SOOOOOOOOO much to do before Monday. Most of which requires the use of the Internet, which I don't have access to at home. Oh well, I will figure it out. Well, I have to go to Spanish class now. YAY... I am sooooooooo excited. See you guys on Sunday. TA TA FOR NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

BRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!

Man,
I can't believe how cold it was when I left for school this morning. I think that we are going to have an early winter. I haven't been feeling like myself lately and I don't know why. Maybe I am just getting too stressed out and bogged down with school and work. I don't know. My brother and sister-in-law are looking for an apartment as we speak, so they should be moved out in the next week or so. Last night was spent showing my sister-in-law how to balance a checkbook and record debit card purchases in her register. That was exciting. I get to see my uncle who lives in Tallahassee Florida this weekend. Tonight I am going to Red Lobster with Anthony and Freddie! Lucky me, one girl and two guys...hahaha!!! I have to go to my cousin's wedding tomorrow and I promise I will be in church on Sunday. I Have SOOOOOOOOO much to do before Monday. Most of which requires the use of the Internet, which I don't have access to at home. Oh well, I will figure it out. Well, I have to go to Spanish class now. YAY... I am sooooooooo excited. See you guys on Sunday. TA TA FOR NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

BRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!

Man,
I can't believe how cold it was when I left for school this morning. I think that we are going to have an early winter. I haven't been feeling like myself lately and I don't know why. Maybe I am just getting too stressed out and bogged down with school and work. I don't know. My brother and sister-in-law are looking for an apartment as we speak, so they should be moved out in the next week or so. Last night was spent showing my sister-in-law how to balance a checkbook and record debit card purchases in her register. That was exciting. I get to see my uncle who lives in Tallahassee Florida this weekend. Tonight I am going to Red Lobster with Anthony and Freddie! Lucky me, one girl and two guys...hahaha!!! I have to go to my cousin's wedding tomorrow and I promise I will be in church on Sunday. I Have SOOOOOOOOO much to do before Monday. Most of which requires the use of the Internet, which I don't have access to at home. Oh well, I will figure it out. Well, I have to go to Spanish class now. YAY... I am sooooooooo excited. See you guys on Sunday. TA TA FOR NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

Computer Illiterate

Hey Guys!!

I am at work right now all alone. Both bosses are in meetings, so the office is in my hands. Scary, huh? I am trying to type labels on Excel and I can't figure out how to make another page of the template. She gave me a really easy job and I messed it up. I am so computer illiterate. I tell ya, I am a fast typer, but know absolutely nothing about the mechanics of a computer. I would just rather do it the old fashioned way with a pencil and paper, ya know?

I am meeing with my mentor Valencia today. I am excited. We haven't been able to meet because she just had her third son about a month ago now. We are meeting at Chick-fil-A... Yummy!!! I am so hungry right now. I have a tootache again, so I will be eating potato soup for lunch... around 1... I still have an hour to go... I don't know if I can make it...........

Last Night!!

Last night, Anne, Jordan, Matt and I drive to Marietta to see Jesse Duplantis. We get there, get really good seats in the balcony and the preacher says he has an announcement. He puts his cell phone up to the microphone and we hear Jesse talking. He says that his charter jet malfunctioned and that he would have to reschedule. He was very apologetic and said that he would reschedule. I have to admit that I was disappointed. A few people left, but most stayed. This church was very pentecostal and there was dancing and shouting. The preacher spoke of when Jesus took five fish and two loaves of bread and fed 5000. It was awesome how he used it to relate to the current situation and how we don't have to have a man show up to have church, we just need God.

I must say that I went to Free Chapel for about six months and I never felt comfortable dancing and shouting before the Lord. Well, something stirred in me last night, and I just let loose. I don't know what it was, but I was dancing around and praising Jesus. It was an incredible feeling. Indescribable. The preacher laid hands on every person in the sanctuary with annointing oil and some people were healed. I don't know if you guys believe in that stuff, but I felt the Holy Spirit and I saw him working with my own eyes. It was great. I prayed for Anne's healing, for Daniel and Becky to come to know the Lord, for my little brother to get back on the right track and for my dad and I to grow closer. I also prayed for my brother and for God to prepare his heart to go to Iraq and for my sister-in-law to not worry about him. Then, I prayed for Costa Rica. Costa Rica has been on my brain for the past few months now and I'm not sure why... am I supposed to go there? Am I supposed to pray for them? Send them money? I have no clue... so I asked God to reveal it to me. So, last night was a sort of healing for me, I guess you could say.

Just continue to pray for things in your life. God will make a way. He will heal you and set you free!!! All you need is Jesus, not a flashy sermon, a great preacher or goosebumps....in the words of Anne Graham Lott....JUST GIVE ME JESUS!!!!

Life

Hey Guys!!
Sorry, I just realized that I posted the same blog twice yesterday. I didn't think it went through the first time, but obviously it did. Tonight I am going to see Jesse Duplantis, who is this really awesome TV evangelist at Phillips Arena. I am going with my best friend Anne, her boyfriend Jordan and her brother MAtt. I haven't seen her in forever, so I can't wait. Anne and I are cool like that. We may not see each other very much, but she is always there for me. I can't believe that Heather, Tori, Ashlie and Mary Beth are going to the Third Day Concert Thursday night. I tried to win tickets this morning, but of course, it didn't work. Take pics for me guys.

Life is relatively good. I am getting used to having another sister-in- law, and having to live with two married couples, instead of one. It is definitely different. I mean Becky was at my house a lot when she and Daniel were dating, but now she is there all the time. Oh well, it's only for two weeks, right!!!

School is kicking my tail. I have so much to do that I don't even know where to start. In Special Education Class, I get to teach next week for a group project, so that should be fun and get me prepared for my future job. I have a hard time in Spanish now. All of the tenses and conjugations get mixed up in my head. I am doing pretty good in Statistics, which is amazing since it is a math class and I stink at math. Anyways, I am going to go eat now.. my pband j sandwich and Cheetos is calling my name. YUMMY!!!!

Great Weekend!!!

I had a great weekend. I got to spend a lot of time with my family, which is a rare occasion at my house. Rachel was gone all weekend, so Friday night, my daddy and I ate dinner together. You guys will never know how special Chinese was. You see, my daddy and I were very close about six years ago, before my mom got sick. After my mom died and my daddy remarried, it all changed. Then, my daddy, grandpa and I got up at 6 am on Saturday and drove to Pine Mountain, which is right above Helen, to a cabin in the woods, where they deer hunt. My brother and sister-in-law came down and we got to hang out. My brother is in Ranger school at Ft. Benning in Colombus, and is going to Iraq in January. I hadn't seen him since January. We played with their dogs, rode the four wheeler( on which my grandpa almost killed me), played rummy and went out to eat. The Georgia/LSU game was playing on the TVs at the restaraunts and LSU got creamed. I'd have to say that I am becoming a Georgia fan more and more everyday. ( Don't kill me Freddie and Kenny, I still love you guys)!! Besides, David Pollick is a hottie. So, it was a great weekend.

I had a special education test today and now I have to go do Spanish before Inner G.

Oh, I have a prayer request...my cousin Natara is in Turkey in the army and she had a seizure last week. They don't know why, since she has never had one before, and she is in the hospital being tested for tumors and brain injuries. So, please keep her in your prayers.

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot, it stinks that I missed all the fun at Ashlie's church. I heard that ya'll had a good time. Wish I could have been there!!!

Great Weekend!!!

Hey Guys!! I had great weekend. It was full of family time, which is something that never happens at my house. Friday night my daddy and I went out to dinner. I don't know how to explain how much Chinese food meant to me. My daddy and I used to be very close before my mom died. But ever since then, we haven't been as close. My stepmom was at my grandma's house all weekend, so daddy and I had some alone time. It was great.

Then, at 6 am on Saturday morning, my daddy, grandpa and I drove to Pine Mountain, which is near Callaway Gardens to a cabin where they deer hunt. I studied for my Special Educ. test, while they cleared trees and stuff off of the trails. Then, my brother, who is in the army and is at Fort Benning and my sister-in-law came down. I haven't seen my brother since January, so it was great. We played with their dogs Gracie and Tonka, rode the four wheeler(on which my grandpa almost killed me, I might add) and we played Rummy for hours. I never knew that playing rummy with my grandpa would be so much fun!!! We went to eat and watched part of the Georgia/LSU game on TV. Georgia got the smack down. I think I am leaning towards becoming a Georgia fan!! Don't kill me Freddie and Kenny!! I still love you guys. And besides, David Pollick is hot!!!

Well, I have a SPED test today at 1:15, so much Spanish stuff to do I am going to scream and all of that.

Oh, major prayer request, my cousin Natara is in Turkey right now. She is in the army and is a mechanic. She was running the other morning, as she does every morning, and she had a seizure. She has never had them before. She is in the hospital being tested for tumors and brain injuries. Please keep her in your prayers.

Well, I am going to eat before my stomach eats my backbone...as Tammy would say. See you guys tonight at InnerG.