Wising Up

I just wanted to share some points from Beth Moore's Bible Study about marriage called "Wising Up Wherever Life Happens." This study is based on Proverb's 31:10-31 and talks about the five keys to being a priceless wife.

1. She has fear-meaning fear of the Lord.
2. She has courage
3. She brings her man good-question to ask yourself is "can my husband entrust me with his heart?"
4. She lives by the law of kindness.

Rememberance

As I was flipping through the channels on the TV today, I ran across a court show about a mother and daughter who were at odds about a car and money owed. It was very emotional and made me ell at the TV. I was so angry and just wanted to tell them both that money and a car are not worth ruining their relationship over and that they should be grateful for each other, because we aren't guaranteed tomorrow. Then, I looked down at Eli as I was feeding him and started bawling. I miss my mom and I wish she was here to see her grandson, give me advice and hang out with us. I know that she would love him dearly. It just makes me sad to think about the fact that she will never be able to watch him take his first step, say his first words, come to his birthday parties, start school, etc. And, it also saddens me to see other mothers and daughters, or fathers and sons at odds for trivial things that don't matter at all. The most important thing in the world is relationships and family and it is vital that we learn to forgive, reconcile and love one another. Just a few thoughts from a very emotional lady who misses her mom.

Motherhood

I had always heard other mothers tell me that I will never love someone so much as I do my baby, but it's one of those things you have to experience for yourself. And, believe me, they are right. Eli is officially two weeks old today and I couldn't have asked for a better baby... he is so laid back, like his daddy, but likes to know what is going on, like me :) He hardly ever cries, I can take him anywhere, he doesn't mind being passed around and held, and he even sleeps in 3 to 4 hour stretches a night. I know he is still young and this may change, but right now, that's what it is. He is really smart too, and I am not just saying that because he is my son. He can hold his own bottle, hold his head up, turn on his side, and hit the objects on his play mat. All things that a two week old shouldn't be doing. I am convinced it is because I read to him A LOT while he was in my belly.

Being a mom is the greatest, most tiring, rewarding, amazing job ever. I am loving being home with him everyday, although I am going a little stir crazy. I know it's gonna be hard going back to work in a month :( And, even though he is going to be in good hands with MeMaw and Nanny and Paw-Paw, my biggest fear is that I am going to miss all the important milestones, like his first words, first crawl, first steps, etc because I am at work :( I wish I could be a SAHM, but unfortunately, finances won't allow that to happen. I have to say that being pregnant and now being a mommy has definitely mellowed me out a lot. I don't worry and freak out about things like I used to, I don't let things get to me as easily and I am not as uptight and high strung. It's like all the problems of the world and all the drama that I used to let engulf my life don't matter as much as my little family, taking care of my love bug (my nickname for Eli) and making sure he has the best life possible.

Speaking of my little family, Robert is an AMAZING dad...he is so attentive, changes diapers, feeds Eli, even in the middle of the night, loves spending time with him and loves being a dad. Parenthood has brought us closer together in some ways... we have learned how to work better as a team, how to be selfless, and most of all, be appreciative of the blessings in our lives. We both catch ourselves staring in awe at Eli, in disbelief that he is our precious son and that God chose us to be his parents. We will strive every day to be the best parents we can be and with the love and support of friends and family and the guidance of the Holy Spirit, we will make it happen. Motherhood is truly my purpose in life and I am so blessed to have the most amazing, precious and remarkable little love bug in the world :) Can't wait to watch him grow up and see what an amazing man of God he is going to be!

Home Stretch

So, my due date is in 12 days, which means Eli can come any time now....AHHH!! The nursery is ready, hospital bag is packed, car seat is installed and everything is ready, we are just waiting on Eli to make his grand entrance. It's funny how I am normally high strung and will freak out at the drop of a hat, but for some reason, pregnancy has mellowed me out and things that would normally bother me don't. I am anxious about labor and delivery, but I am not freaking out about it like I thought that I would. I just have a peace and calmness and know that God will take care of me and Eli will get here healthy and amazing.

My biggest fear about being a parent is the rearing, molding and shaping Eli and being a great role model in his life. It's kind of scary to think that everything I say or do is going to be seen and heard by Eli. I want to be the best mom that I can. I am just praying that God will guide me and give me the strength to know what to do and how to do it. I know that He is going to take care of us and that we are going to be the best parents that we can. I am excited about being a mom and feel like I am achieving one of the many purposes that God created me for.

It's getting closer!

So, I can't believe that Eli will be here in about 6 weeks. Robert and I are ecstatic, nervous, happy and excited. I am really scared about the labor and delivery part of the pregnancy because I know that my pain tolerance is really low. I just have to put it all in God's hands and know that He will take care of me. As the day gets closer, I have been thinking more and more about my mom and hoping that I can be half the mom to Eli that she was to me. I look back and think about my childhood and remember how my mom would sacrifice anything for me, put me and my brothers before herself and always have our best interest at heart. Even after she was diagnosed with cancer and had her chemo treatments, she came to EVERY football game home and away to watch me march in band, seeing the same half time show over and over. Sometimes she was so weak, she would have to sit in the car, but she was there. She would serve us our food first, to ensure that we had enough and when we were done, she would eat. She would save up money to pay for us to do things at school, be involved in extracurricular activities and so on. She was a great role model, mentor and mom. I just wish she was here now to help me through this amazing pregnancy journey, to offer advice and encouragement, and to just watch Eli grow up. I love and miss her so much and know that she is looking down on us from heaven. Rest in peace, mom!! We love you sooooooooooo much!

pregnancy

Pregnancy is an amazing experience...one that people have told me about for years, but until you have been there yourself, you wouldn't understand. I mean, I had people tell me how amazing it is to feel the baby kick inside of you, but until you actually feel it, it is totally different. Robert got to feel the baby kick the other day and it was incredible. He got so excited!! While I am scared to death as labor and delivery gets closer, I am excited about being a mom and watching Robert be a dad. We are so blessed to have so many awesome family and friends who love and support us as well. I can't believe that I only have nine weeks (or less) to go.... that time is going to fly by. Now I am working two jobs and it is starting to be exhausting. I need to work and make money to support Eli, but at the same time, I know that I need to take care of my body and of Eli. So, I am going to cut my hours down at Stevi B's to three days a week, and still work part time at the preschool, until I can't work anymore and will go on maternity leave. All in all, I have been very blessed and had a great pregnancy so far and I have a lot of awesome things to tell Eli when he gets older. I can't wait to meet him! So excited!

pregnancy

God is good all the time and all the time, God is good!

God is so good and His timing is amazing... I have been praying for a year and a half, even more so since October when I got my Bachelor's degree, for a "big girl teaching job." While I am grateful for Stevi B's and the fact that I was able to have a job, God knows that my passion is teaching children. Well, I put in a lot of applications back in January, and never heard anything, so I forgot about it. I had a voice mail on my phone on Wednesday when I got out of Bible Study from a local preschool wanting me to come in for an interview. So, I called them back and set it up for Thursday. To be honest, I really thought that when they saw a 7 month pregnant chick waddling in their school for an interview, it would be all over, but God is bigger than my doubts :) I interviewed with the regional manager. She was very impressed with my resume and application and loved the fact that I have a Bachelor's degree and 2 years of experience. She wanted to hire me for the lead toddler teacher position, but when she found out how far along I was, she said she didn't want me to be picking up children and get used to the kids and then have to be out on maternity leave. I thought it was over. But, no, she decided that she wanted me to be a part of the team, so she offered me a part time position in the crawler room (ages 6 months to a year) until after Eli gets here, and then after I get back from maternity leave, she guaranteed me a lead teacher job...yay!! I know it is going to be hard to leave Eli for eight hours a day, five days a week, but I know He will be in good hands and I know that we will be able to provide for Him better because of my amazing job that God provided. It's funny how God is faithful, even when we are faithless. I was ready to give up, but He came through for me. I am truly blessed and can't wait to get back in the classroom :)

Parenthood

So, Robert is really cute about the whole pregnancy and having a baby thing. I will catch him looking at my belly with a big smile on his face. He is so excited about baby Eli and is going to be an AMAZING daddy :) Since Robert and I are complete opposites, and complement each other, Eli will get to see both sides of our personalities and will hopefully have a little of both himself. I hope Eli will learn how to be sensitive and emotional from me, and practical and logical from Robert. Robert will teach him when to be laid back and I will teach him when to get riled up :) I think that Robert and I are going to make a great team. When I get stressed out and overwhelmed, Robert has a way of calming me down and bringing me back to reality and when Robert is being too mellow, I have a way of helping him be more sensitive and caring.

Being pregnant has mellowed me out a lot. I can tell you that for sure. Things that I used to be OCD about, such as not going to bed with dirty dishes in the sink, or not leaving the house without making up the bed, have went out the window. I am learning how to not let little things bother me and how to relax more. I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that I am growing a baby inside of me and taking care of him and giving him the best is more important to me than dishes, laundry or making a bed. Not that these things aren't important, but they aren't my first priority anymore. I am excited, scared and nervous about being a mom, but I know that it is going to make me a better person and it is going to be the greatest experience of my entire life... I can't wait!!! Just wish my mom was here with me to give me advice, support and encouragement. But, I am blessed that God has placed a lot of amazing people in my life to help me along the way!! Thank you Jesus!

Growing up

So, my friend Roxanne and I have been friends since middle school. I used to go to her house and have sleepovers, swim in the pool, bake cookies, watch movies, etc. Then, when we went to high school we helped each other through some really hard times. She was there for me when my mom died and I was there for her through some hard times as well. We used to always talk, plan and dream about our wedding day and when we would have kids. She moved away during college, had her first child and we kind of lost touch. She came back to Georgia about 2 years ago and we picked up right where we left off. She met and married a friend of ours from church, and yesterday, they had their beautiful baby girl, Zoey, I have been married for almost in four years and in three or four months, I will give birth to my son, Eli! I think it's really cool how our kids are gonna grow up together, just like we did. It's nice to know that they will have someone to talk to and share things with, just like their mommies did :) Who would have thought all those years ago that Zoey and Eli would literally grow up together? How awesome is that?

realizations

As Robert and I spent the morning rearranging furniture, organizing and moving stuff around to start getting the nursery together and make room for Eli's crib, the realization of what is happening in a few months hit us. As we sit here now, me playing on the computer and him playing his video games, we realize that by this summer, our lives will drastically change. There will be no more (or maybe less) of the days where we sleep in, lay around and do nothing, or go out when we feel like it, instead we will be changing diapers and feeding Eli at all hours of the night, reading him stories, rocking him to sleep and so on. And, as he gets older, we will be going to the zoo, the circus and the dreaded Chuckie Cheese :) But, we can't wait. We are so excited to see what God has in store for us and our precious baby boy. Is it going to be hard? Sure. Exciting? Yes. Scary? Probably. But, worth it? Absolutely. I keep hearing everyone say how time flies and kids grow up fast, so you should cherish every minute-that's what we intend to do. We can't wait to meet him, love him, support him and see what kind of personality he has. We can't wait to hug him, kiss him, sing to him, read to him, tell him about Jesus and spoil him rotten. While the thought of parenthood scares the daylights out of me, it also leaves me with a sense of excitement, anticipation and happiness and we can't wait!

My BFF

So, you know the old saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder?" Well, I have been experiencing that for the last two weeks with my best friend. She is recovering from a surgery, and in order to get her complete healing, she is fasting from people, technology and communication, just focusing on family, God and getting better. I understand why she is doing it and respect her for it, but I miss her terribly. There have been so many times in the past two weeks that I have wanted to pick up the phone and call her and fill her in on my day, or my week, or to tell her something new about baby Eli. We will have a lot of catching up to do at the end of this week when she is done with her fast. We have been friends since 10th grade, God definitely brought us together and it is killing me to not be able to talk to or see her. She is one of the most amazing and Godly women I have ever met in my ENTIRE life and I love her more than words could ever describe.

I was thinking about the temporary distance between she and I and I related it to our relationship with Jesus. Honestly, and if we were all honest with ourselves, we would agree, there are times when my relationship with Jesus is like this... I haven't communicated or talked to him in a while and all I want to do is share my feelings, thoughts and life with him. Then other times, I distance myself from Him and can go days or weeks without talking to Him. This is sad but true. Jesus wants to be our best friend and He wants us to be able to come to Him and talk to Him whenever we want. So, I challenge everyone to give as much time and attention to their relationship with Jesus as they do in their relationship with their earthly best friend/s.

I love you bff and can't wait to talk to you tomorrow :)

My

God is present

At Bible Study yesterday, we prayed that God would make His presence known to us this week, even in small ways. Well, yesterday, I had a lot of those moments. First of all, we went to lunch after Bible Study and two of my friends paid for my lunch, which was a huge blessing. Then, on the way home, I got a flat tire. I made it to a gas station and called my uncle and he came and changed it. He also told me about a different place to go get used tires, which saved me $ 30, another huge blessing, especially since we have a baby on the way. Then, when I was going to leave the tire place, one of the workers stopped traffic, so that I could get out safely, another God moment. That afternoon, one of my friends contacted me and said that she was going to give us a pack n play for Eli, which is something we put on the registry. The list could go on and on. So many people have given us so many things for him, to help us save money. It's amazing how God is in the small things and how often we take those small things for granted. I am excited to see what He is going to do in the future. My God is awesome and I love Him so very much!

Little Moments

I always heard that being pregnant was an amazing experience, but of course, it's something that you don't understand until it's actually happening to you. I woke up this morning to Eli kicking and moving around and it was the most amazing feeling I have ever had. There are no words to describe the way I felt. I am a big advocate of reading, so I decided that I was going to start reading to Eli even when he is still in the womb, so this morning we started our reading. We read The VeggieTales Book "God Made You Special." And, I spoke over Eli and told him how special he is and how God created him especially for me and Robert. Tears filled my eyes as I thought about how he would be here in four months and I am going to be a parent... responsible for molding him, guiding him, teaching him and helping make him a competent, respectful, intelligent, child of God... that's a big task, but God has promised that He doesn't give us more than we can handle, so with Him by our side, I know we can do it.

Speaking of parenthood, this whole pregnancy has had me thinking about my mom and looking back over my life and childhood. I remember how she and my dad would drop everything and sacrifice for us. She made sure we had food and was always fix her plate last at dinner... I didn't get it then, but I do now. She would save her money and give it to us for a function at school or to buy clothes, even though she hadn't bought new clothes for herself in years. And, when I was in high school and she was really sick and taking her chemo treatments, she would ride in the car and hour away as sick as a dog, sit in the car and watch the same half time show she had seen all season, just so she could be there for us. I hope that I am half the parent to Eli that she was to me and my dad is to me now, as well as all the other "parents" that God has placed in my life over the years. I am so blessed to have all these people in my life and I know that Eli will be loved, supported, encouraged and guided in a Godly way!! And, for that I am extremely thankful.

Baby Eli!

So, I am starting my blog back up again in hopes that I can continue updating it on a weekly basis, at least. I realize it has been a while since I have updated and a lot has happened. First of all, I graduated from Ashford University at the end of October and got my Bachelor's degree in Early Childhood Education. I am currently looking for a teaching job. In the meantime, I am busing tables at a pizza restaurant. Not what I want to do with the rest of my life, but it's a job for right now. On October 25th, Robert and I closed on our new house and we are loving it. There is so much more room and it's located in a safer and nicer neighborhood than where we lived before. But, the biggest
surprise of all is that Robert and I are going to be parents in June! We just found out about 4 weeks ago and I am already 22 weeks along. It's a boy and his name will be Elijah Hayward (eli) Charles. We were surprised, but happy at the same time. It's going to be a new adventure and we are excited to meet Eli and love on him. God has truly blessed me in so many ways. There is so much fun to be had in the next few months with baby showers, registries, and so much more. We will keep everyone updated with our progress.