realizations

As Robert and I spent the morning rearranging furniture, organizing and moving stuff around to start getting the nursery together and make room for Eli's crib, the realization of what is happening in a few months hit us. As we sit here now, me playing on the computer and him playing his video games, we realize that by this summer, our lives will drastically change. There will be no more (or maybe less) of the days where we sleep in, lay around and do nothing, or go out when we feel like it, instead we will be changing diapers and feeding Eli at all hours of the night, reading him stories, rocking him to sleep and so on. And, as he gets older, we will be going to the zoo, the circus and the dreaded Chuckie Cheese :) But, we can't wait. We are so excited to see what God has in store for us and our precious baby boy. Is it going to be hard? Sure. Exciting? Yes. Scary? Probably. But, worth it? Absolutely. I keep hearing everyone say how time flies and kids grow up fast, so you should cherish every minute-that's what we intend to do. We can't wait to meet him, love him, support him and see what kind of personality he has. We can't wait to hug him, kiss him, sing to him, read to him, tell him about Jesus and spoil him rotten. While the thought of parenthood scares the daylights out of me, it also leaves me with a sense of excitement, anticipation and happiness and we can't wait!

My BFF

So, you know the old saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder?" Well, I have been experiencing that for the last two weeks with my best friend. She is recovering from a surgery, and in order to get her complete healing, she is fasting from people, technology and communication, just focusing on family, God and getting better. I understand why she is doing it and respect her for it, but I miss her terribly. There have been so many times in the past two weeks that I have wanted to pick up the phone and call her and fill her in on my day, or my week, or to tell her something new about baby Eli. We will have a lot of catching up to do at the end of this week when she is done with her fast. We have been friends since 10th grade, God definitely brought us together and it is killing me to not be able to talk to or see her. She is one of the most amazing and Godly women I have ever met in my ENTIRE life and I love her more than words could ever describe.

I was thinking about the temporary distance between she and I and I related it to our relationship with Jesus. Honestly, and if we were all honest with ourselves, we would agree, there are times when my relationship with Jesus is like this... I haven't communicated or talked to him in a while and all I want to do is share my feelings, thoughts and life with him. Then other times, I distance myself from Him and can go days or weeks without talking to Him. This is sad but true. Jesus wants to be our best friend and He wants us to be able to come to Him and talk to Him whenever we want. So, I challenge everyone to give as much time and attention to their relationship with Jesus as they do in their relationship with their earthly best friend/s.

I love you bff and can't wait to talk to you tomorrow :)

My

God is present

At Bible Study yesterday, we prayed that God would make His presence known to us this week, even in small ways. Well, yesterday, I had a lot of those moments. First of all, we went to lunch after Bible Study and two of my friends paid for my lunch, which was a huge blessing. Then, on the way home, I got a flat tire. I made it to a gas station and called my uncle and he came and changed it. He also told me about a different place to go get used tires, which saved me $ 30, another huge blessing, especially since we have a baby on the way. Then, when I was going to leave the tire place, one of the workers stopped traffic, so that I could get out safely, another God moment. That afternoon, one of my friends contacted me and said that she was going to give us a pack n play for Eli, which is something we put on the registry. The list could go on and on. So many people have given us so many things for him, to help us save money. It's amazing how God is in the small things and how often we take those small things for granted. I am excited to see what He is going to do in the future. My God is awesome and I love Him so very much!

Little Moments

I always heard that being pregnant was an amazing experience, but of course, it's something that you don't understand until it's actually happening to you. I woke up this morning to Eli kicking and moving around and it was the most amazing feeling I have ever had. There are no words to describe the way I felt. I am a big advocate of reading, so I decided that I was going to start reading to Eli even when he is still in the womb, so this morning we started our reading. We read The VeggieTales Book "God Made You Special." And, I spoke over Eli and told him how special he is and how God created him especially for me and Robert. Tears filled my eyes as I thought about how he would be here in four months and I am going to be a parent... responsible for molding him, guiding him, teaching him and helping make him a competent, respectful, intelligent, child of God... that's a big task, but God has promised that He doesn't give us more than we can handle, so with Him by our side, I know we can do it.

Speaking of parenthood, this whole pregnancy has had me thinking about my mom and looking back over my life and childhood. I remember how she and my dad would drop everything and sacrifice for us. She made sure we had food and was always fix her plate last at dinner... I didn't get it then, but I do now. She would save her money and give it to us for a function at school or to buy clothes, even though she hadn't bought new clothes for herself in years. And, when I was in high school and she was really sick and taking her chemo treatments, she would ride in the car and hour away as sick as a dog, sit in the car and watch the same half time show she had seen all season, just so she could be there for us. I hope that I am half the parent to Eli that she was to me and my dad is to me now, as well as all the other "parents" that God has placed in my life over the years. I am so blessed to have all these people in my life and I know that Eli will be loved, supported, encouraged and guided in a Godly way!! And, for that I am extremely thankful.

Baby Eli!

So, I am starting my blog back up again in hopes that I can continue updating it on a weekly basis, at least. I realize it has been a while since I have updated and a lot has happened. First of all, I graduated from Ashford University at the end of October and got my Bachelor's degree in Early Childhood Education. I am currently looking for a teaching job. In the meantime, I am busing tables at a pizza restaurant. Not what I want to do with the rest of my life, but it's a job for right now. On October 25th, Robert and I closed on our new house and we are loving it. There is so much more room and it's located in a safer and nicer neighborhood than where we lived before. But, the biggest
surprise of all is that Robert and I are going to be parents in June! We just found out about 4 weeks ago and I am already 22 weeks along. It's a boy and his name will be Elijah Hayward (eli) Charles. We were surprised, but happy at the same time. It's going to be a new adventure and we are excited to meet Eli and love on him. God has truly blessed me in so many ways. There is so much fun to be had in the next few months with baby showers, registries, and so much more. We will keep everyone updated with our progress.