Stressful Week

So, I found out last Tuesday that my brother who is in Iraq was involved in an accident about a month ago and almost died and almost lost his hearing. He is an armorer, in charge of weapons and one of his SSO's brought a loaded gun to him. Something (God ) told him to move out of the way. He did and the gun went off, sending the bullet through some packets of gatorade and the shrapnel hit his roomates leg. My brothers ears were bleeding and his equilibrium was off. He is ok thank God and suffered no long-term damage. I was just very upset that everyone else in my family knew about it except my dad and I. I called my sister in law and confronted her about it. She was really rude and stuff. Then, my brother called me that night and fussed me out (From Ir aq). I cried for two days.

I haven't talked to either one of them since. And now, my car is back in the shop.My week hasn't been going very well, but I am confident that it can only get better, right?

April flowers bring May lovers?

So, I have been thinking about marriage and weddings a lot lately. The fact that I went to Justin Lewallen's wedding on Saturday probably doesn't help matters much. I mean, ever since I was little I have had my wedding planned out. Dresses, bridesmaids, colors, flowers, etc... the whole nine yards. I also have my kids names picked out.. Chloe Ruth, Hannah Deborah and Ethan Isaiah. I have been listening to love songs and dreaming of my wedding. Don't worry, it isn't happening anytime soon or anything, I have just been thinking of it. And then there are all those around me who are about to tie the knot.. Abby and Anthony, Derrick and Ashlie, Tammy and Andrew, I could go on and on. So, I guess I will just keep dreaming of that special day and wait for it patiently. In the mean time I will have songs stuck in my head like " You look Wonderful Tonight," "To Make You Feel My Love" and " I Will Be Here."

The circle of life

I was reminded this week of " The Lion King" and how everything plays a part in the circle of life.. It's ironic that I thought of that since I have been dealing with a lot of change in friendships and situations lately. It's funny how you can be friends with someone for such a long time and then one day you find yourself noticing that you don't even know them at all. A lot of my friends are headed in different directions and have different plans for their lives. I am the kind of person who has this fairy-tale thought that I am going to be friends with everyone I am friends with now forever. However, it was in talking to Robert's mom last night that it occurred to me that most friendships are like the circle of life. They have a beginning and an end. Most friendships are for a season and don't last a lifetime. That is really hard for me to comprehend. So, now I am trying to deal with the fact that I may not be friends with everyone forever, so I should just cherish the friendship in the here and now.

I know this blog seemed like I was rambling, but this is where I am right now. BTW, please pray for me because there is a potential parapro job opening up and I will find out about it next week.

Opposites Attract

It's really funny to me how two people, who are completely opposite of one another, can be so incredibly happy together. This is Robert and I to a T. I love The Gaithers and country music (as you all know ). Speaking of, my man (Kenny Chesney) got married on Monday to Renee Zelwegger. And Robert loves 99 X and Zepplin, The Stones and Pink Floyd. I am an anal retentive neat freak and, well, he is the opposite. He loves to play video games and loves movies. I love hanging out with friends and being Dr. Love. But, when you put us two together, it is obvious that we really love each other and love being together. Anyways, enough mushy gushy stuff.

Heather, I guess you are glad to know that Bo Bice is still in the running for American Idol and the Clay Aiken wanna be got the boot. He still has a record deal, though, so his life is good right now.

moms are the best

Well, yesterday was pretty depressing for me. I cried.. ALOT!! I mean, it's been almost six years since I lost my mom, but some days it feels like only a second. I was thinking about everything I have learned from my mom and how much alike we are (were). Then, Pastor Doug did a sermon entitled "Table Lamps, marked Jeans and Clean Underwear," in which he told us of lessons learned from his mother in childhood, that he carries with him today. I realized that I am more like my mom than I ever thought. We both are sentamentalists. I was cleaning out her hope chest last week and discovered that she held on to the most interesting things, like invitations, cards, flower petals, old movie ticket stubs, coins from the arcade, old report cards.. stuff that others would think is weird. I do the same thing. We are also both people pleasers. We value our friendships and always have other peoples best interest at heart. Anyways, I can't explain to you how much I miss my mom. She was an amazing woman. She has definitely taught me alot and shaped me into the person I am today. So, be kind to your mothers, everyone, because they won't be around forever. Tell them you love them everytime you get a chance, spend time with her and let her know how important she is to you. I love you MOM!!

Hasta La Vista.. Gainesville College

Hi guys! I have some great news. Staying up til 1 am every night for a week for my Stats final paid off.. I got a C. Which means, two degrees, and no more Gainesville College. It is actually one of those bitter sweet moments of my life, ya know? After I have been there for four years, it is going to be weird not going back next semester. Oh well, hopefully, I will be teaching in August and living with Beth. Work is going good... we just came up with a new dance to celebrate bookings. We are adding choreography and a second verse.. it is called "Thank you Jesus." It is hilarious, and somewhat embarrassing, watching my boss and I dance around the office and sing. You had to be there. BTW, my parents are taking Robert and I out to dinner tonight. They haven't really gotten to know him that well. So, right now, I am just working and enjoying life. God is good!!!

Dr. Love strikes again!!

For those of you who don't know by now, I have become affectionately known as "Dr. Love." This stems from the fact that for the past two or three months now, everyone I know has been asking me for love advice, relationship advice, or advice about the opposite sex. I don't know how this came to be exactly, but I have taken it and ran with it. At least two or three times a week, I am called or confronted about a "love " issue. From " I like her, does she like me?" to " I don't get why he/she does...so and so" to "I am so mad at him/her I could kick his/her-----." I sit and patiently listen for hours as the distressed person pours out their heart to me. Then, I play devil's advocate, give them worse case scenaries and best case scenarios and leave the rest up to them. I don't tell them what to do or how to run their lives, I simply provide a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on.

I was taking a break from my Statistics marathon studying last night and grabbed a bite to eat with my friend Brooke. We were talking about the "Dr. Love" situation. I have been really stressed about finances lately, and a $945 credit card bill (Thanks to my car and Gainesville College) doesn't help any. She said that I should start charging for my " Dr. Love" sessions, like $5 per hour. Then, I wouldn't have to worry about bills. We laughed and continued to eat. Someone told me that this might be my calling. Too bad I'd have to spend four more years in college to make it happen.. I don't think so. I see my ability to listen and give advice as a blessing. I am glad that my friends trust me enough to tell me their problems and respect my opinion. So, if you ever need advice about anything concerning relationships, love or life in general, you know who to call.... DR. LOVE!!!

Weekend full of fun!!

My weekend was full of fun and busyness.. as usual. Friday was spent reminiscing over memories of my childhood. My friend Lauren and I looked through my baby pics and went through my moms hope chest, that was given to me when she died. We found my dad's old 8 tracks, napkins from my parents wedding 25 years ago, bday cards from my first bday, my mom's gradation gown and my dads diploma, my dresses and shoes from 22 years ago, scrapbooks, pics and more. Having lost my mom almost six years ago to cancer, I am so grateful for the fact that, like me, she kept things that may not mean anything to other people, but to us, they are priceless. I guess that is where I get my " organized pack rat" mode from. I have cards from elementary school, letters from Middle school, etc. Some people think I am crazy, but I want my kids to have things to remember me by, just like I have to remember my mom.

Then, on Saturday, I went shopping for my dad and stepmom's bday presents. They were born on the same day, two years apart, so they have a joint bday party every year. It was so much fun. We grilled hamburgers and hot dogs, with all the trimmings... baked beans, cole slaw, chips and dip.. and of course, double chocolate fudge cake. After the party, my friends and I went to Ben's houseboat on Lake Lanier to watch a movie. We had been the night before, where he cooked us jerk chicken and tallapia fish. It was amazing. However, being afraid of heights and getting motion sickness aren't a good combo. My head was spinning and my stomach was churning. Dramamine has become my new best friend. I will have to take it whenever I visit Ben. Then, yesterday was church. Then, Brooke and I went to visit our friend David, who just had knee surgery to fix his torn ACL. Last night, we went to service at Hebron, where the middle school choir had their concert.. it was really good. Then, we went to Beth's house and watched Mary Poppins.. another long, busy, fun weekend.

Now it is Monday and the weeks of finals. I made a 66 on my Stats test.. boo!! I have to study my butt off this week.. no social life for Amber... go straight to Inner G and straight home.. study, study, study... I NEED A C!!! PLEASE GOD, JUST A C!!!!

Accountability Partners

I am about to try to convince everyone who reads this blog to have an accountability partner of the same gender. I actually have 2, but I will tell you about one now. Lauren Hannah Dooley is the coolest girl ever. I have only known her for a few months, but we became instant friends. When I started dating Robert, she told me that it would be good to have an accountability partner to help me stay on track.. spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically, etc. So, I talk to her at least every other day and she asks me questions about my walk with God, my quiet times, my scripture memorization that Anne and I are doing together and my relationship with Robert and my friends. I trust her so much, which is good. If I screw up one day, I can call her and tell her. She emails me or calls me with encouraging scriptures and passages, she prays with me and for me. I feel like I can tell her anything. Since we became accountability partners, I can see how much I have grown in my spiritual and fleshy walks. So, I would encourage everyone to find an accountability partner.. it is an awesome experience that I would suggest to anyone.

Update

Hey Guys and girls,
I have an update for you regarding my friends whom I asked for advice about.. the guy who had issues with picking up a girl and paying for her meals and a girl who is old fashioned and wouldn't budge. Well, unfortunately, the girl was incredibly turned off by the guys lack of chivalry and the guy was turned off by the girls lack of sensitivity, so they decided to just be friends. Weird, huh? The guy still wants to hang out with the girl, but he doesn't want to pay and doesn't want it to be a date. Does that sound like wanting your cake and eating it too? I don't know why people make relationships so complicated. I agree with Jen about the whole compromise thing. If both people in the relationship aren't willing to give a little and be flexible, then the relationship won't work. I think that is what happened in this case. Anyways, just wanted to give you an update.

I turned in my application at the BOE the other day, so now I am just waiting and praying for the full-time parapro job. I hung out a lot at Beth's house this weekend (the house I plan to move into if I get the above job in August). I can't wait. I just feel like it is time for me to move out and live life in the " World of the Big Girls." Whatever happens will happen for a reason. I am placing it all in God's hands. Gotta go to work now.. I am working an extra day to make more money.. another blessing in my life. Peace out!!

I love Poker

Well guys and gals.. I never thought I would say this, but I LOVE POKER!! I didn't even know how to play until Saturday night. And I kicked everyone's tails. We played five card draw, five-card stud, Texas Hold 'em and Omaha, Blackjack and some other games I don't remember. We played for pennies. Three hours later, as it was approaching 1 a.m., Dr. Love won it all. It's amazing how fast I picked the game up. Usually it takes me a while to figure games out, but not this one. Now, I don't think I am good enough to play with the pro's like, Heather Anne, Chris Brown, or Tank, but I was pretty proud of myself. Next time I play, I want to do what Heather does and play for something more worthwhile, like candy (preferably chocolate).

My social life and mad poker playing skills are weighing on my sleeping, however. My priorities seem to be a little off. I would rather hang out than sleep, well I wouldn't rather, but that's always what happens and it's beginning to take it's toll. I have decided to start working out again, quit Mountain Dew (which is going to be extremely hard ) and start drinking more H2O. I will feel better, have more energy, and perform better at school and work. My friends and social life are very important to me, but not at the cost of my health. So, if you see me and I have bags under my eyes and I look a little droopy, you will understand why. Just don't mention the words Mountain Dew in my presence and I will be ok. It's crazy that I am so addicted to the stuff.. it's like a drug or something.

Chivalry.. Is it dead?

I have a question for guys and girls, and I am sure that I will get a different answer from each gender... Do you think the guy should pick up the girl when taking her on a date, even if she lives far away from the guy? My friend is struggling with this very issue. She has been on two dates with this guy. He lives in Lilburn and she lives in Auburn. She feels that he has to pick her up for it to be a date. He wants her to meet his parents and have dinner with them, but he wants her to drive to his house, and she refuses. They have to find a compromise. She told him that he either picks her up, they hang out after church on Sundays, since they attend the same church, or they don't date at all. I was just wondering what you guys and girls thought about it. I personally think that the guy should pick up the girl. I am very old-fashioned and believe it is a sign of respect and it makes the girl feel special knowing that the guy cares enough to pick her up. I also think that after they have been dating for awhile and all that, it is cool if the girl wants to drive to meet the guy, or they can meet halfway. These people are really close to me and they have both asked me for advice and I don't know what to tell them.. Dr. Love is at a loss!! Amazing, isn't it? Your comments on this matter would be greatly appreciated.

I'm Back!!!!

God's really been teaching me about perspective lately and about how He can use a "bad" situation for good. For example, my friend Clint, whom I went to highschool with and just met back up with a few months ago, had an accident at work on Monday. A 1500 pound tool box from a truck fell on him. Guess what? All he got was a broken hand and a few scratches. He is truly blessed. He is having surgery today and getting pins put in his hand. Please say a prayer for him. The situation could have been a lot worse. It could have hit his head, given him brain damage, or even worse, killed him. God used his accident to help me realize that things can be worse than they are. I have been doing a lot of "wallowing" lately. In self-pity, in sadness, in depression.. whatever you want to call it and I am sick of it. I am ready to get back to my normal self and have a positive outlook on life again. I am tired of being unhappy, confused and stressed. I want my life back. I am truly blessed and I need to start looking at life in that way again. I want God to bring back my desire to study His word and memorize Bible verses.. because lately, I haven't had a desire to do any of that. It is affecting my life and those around me as well. So, although I had a momentary lapse of something, I am back and ready to tackle whatever life throws my way. It feels great to be back!!!!

what in the world?

This has been a week of stress and confusion for me. I am trying to save up money to move in with Beth in August and go to North Georgia. I am very thrifty and only spend money on neccessities, like gas, insurance, cc bill, etc. But, no matter how hard I try, something messes up my plan. My car just got out of the shop.. busted head gasket... $450 worth of repair. Now, I will be paying my cc bill off until I am 50. I know that everything happens for a reason and that I will learn something from this, I just wish I knew who it was that God was trying to teach me and I wish he would hurry it up!!! Anyways, I guess things could be worse, right? There is always someone who is worse off than you.. that' s what my mom used to tell me. She also said, "That which doesn't kill you will make you stronger." I must be as tough as nails, then. So, my weekend is chock full of fun and adventure. Dr. Love is the most social girl on the planet. Have a wonderful weekend and I will be back on Monday. Peace out!!!

what is going on?

so, this has been a week of confusion and stress. I have been trying to save up money to move in with Beth and go to North Georgia. I mean, besides, gas, insurance and cc bill, I don't spend any money. I am very thrifty and am very good with money. So, you can understand why I was so upset yesterday when Bonita Blanca, my precious car, went into the shop to get a new head gasket.. total cost... $450. Now, that may not seem like a lot of money to you, but when I only work 17hrs/week and only make about $100, that is a lot of money. I got so angry yesterday, but then I realized that everything happens for a reason and I am going to learn something from this. I realized that I am blessed to have amazing family and friends to help me out when I need it and that things could be worse. So, while I may be paying my cc bill off until I am 50, I am learning to look at things differently and make the most of every situation.

What is going on?

So, this has been the week of craziness and stress for me. I am trying so hard to save up my money so that I can move in with Beth in August and go to North Georgia, right? I mean, I only spend money on gas, insurance and credit car bills and the rest goes straight into savings. I go out to eat and sit, unless Robert buys my dinner (which usually happens), I am very thrifty and good with my money. But, as always, I am thrown a curve ball... My precious Bonita Blanca, my car is in the shop getting a new head gasket put on and the price.. $450. I know that may not sound like a lot of money to some of you, but considering that I only work 17hrs/week and bring home only around $100, that is a lot of money. I remember getting so angry yesterday and bursting into tears. I don't understand why this has to happen to me. Then, I realized that everything happens for a reason and I am going to learn something form this. Today, I am being chauffered from school and work, like I was before I got my license. I realized that I am blessed to have amazing friends and family who are willing to help me out when I need it. And I realized that things could be a whole lot worse. So, while I may be paying my cc bill off until I am 50, I am alive and well, a living and breathing child of God. And for that, I am truly blessed!!!

Random

Mistakes.. they are meant to be learned from, right? Well, why is it that I keep making the same type of mistakes over and over again? I really need you guys to pray for me. I am struggling right now with a particular sin in my life. It has had a hold on me since I was 16 years old. I always have the best of intentions. I even go a few months without making this mistake, but somehow it always ends up happening again. I don't understand. I know it is because I need to be in the Word more and rely on God more. This "Sin" is affecting many different parts of my life... my relationships with friends, my quiet times and my relationship with God in general. It really stinks. I want to be able to deal with it and not have to worry about it anymore. I don't understand why it is so hard for me. I don't want to be like this and have this hanging over my head. Please pray for me. I need strength and patience and most importantly, self-control. Sorry that this was random, but I definitely need ya'll to keep me in your prayers. I don't ask often and certainly wouldn't post it on my blog if it wasn't important.

On another note, I had a great Easter. I spent it with Robert and his mom. She is such a sweetheart and I love her dearly. Then, Robert and I spent a rainy afternoon watching "Golden Girls."My parents bought me butterfly sheets and chocolate for Easter.. Cadbury cream eggs.. yum yum!!! I also went on a double date with my best friend and the guy she is dating on Friday night. Then, on Saturday, we went shoe shopping and out to eat. Anyways, I will go now and take a nap. I am so tired.. I had a busy weekend. Peace out!!

Drama, Drama, Drama

I think it is funny how we are supposed to be "adults," but so many times we still act like we are in high school. I am the victim of gossip right now. Well, maybe not gossip, but talking behind the back kind of stuff. I mean, I thought that adults were supposed to talk to each other about their problems, not call ten other people about their problems with other people. I mean, I am guilty of it too. As a matter of fact, we all are. I just wish that we would realize that the solution to the problem lies with the person that you have the problem with. Anyways, I am kinda bummed out about this, have had a headache nonstop for two days, and just made a 69 on my stats test. It's turning out to be a crappy day.
But, as Johnny always says, situations can make you bitter or better, it's all about your attitude. So, I have decided to use it to make me better. I have a very fun weekend planned and I am looking forward to it. Tonight, Robert and I are going on a double-date with Anne and Daniel. I have always wanted to go on a double-date with my best friend and now it is finally happening. We are going to RoadHouse and then back to Anne's house to watch a movie. Tomorrow, I am going shoe shopping with Robert (he really needs a new pair of shoes) and then to Dave and Buster's with Kelly and Tori.. we haven't had a girls day in forever. It will be good to catch up and hang out with them. Then, on Easter, Robert and I are going to get up early and go to Union Point, go to church with his mom and have lunch with her. He doesn't get to see her a lot, but they are very close. I love that woman. I loved her the first five minutes I met her. I talked to her last night, she encouraged me, gave me Bible verses and prayed with me on the phone.. She is truly a Godsend.
So, I am going to make the best of my weekend, hanging out with friends and family, and pray alot. I thank God for Easter and for dying on the cross and for rising on the third day, so that we could live and serve Him and spend eternity with Him one day. I will be thinking a lot about my mom this weekend and Easters as a child.. Easter egg hunts, baskets filled to the brim with candy and toys, chocolate bunnies, The Easter Bunny, dinner with family, etc. It truly is a great time of the year. So, to all of my fellow blogger friends out there.. Have the most blessed Easter ever, remember what it is all about, and thank God for the many blessings he gives us!!!

If you're Happy and you know it.....

Hey Guys!! I am very H-A-P-P-Y with life in general. I feel as if I have reached a point in my life where everything may not be going exactly like I want them to, but I am happy because I am a bigger and better person because of them. There are a lot of changes about to take place in my life, which is scary and exciting, all at the same time. I am applying for my first full-time job this week.. being a parapro in August, when school starts back. I am mailing my application back in today and my three references are soon to follow. If I get this full time job, I am moving out of my parents house and in with my friend Beth, into her grandmothers 100 year old house.. it is beautiful and rent will only be $150/month. Where else do you find rent that cheap? It will be good for me. I need to get out on my own and enter the "real world." As much as I love living at home and being able to spend time with my family, I am an adult and have to start acting like one. Robert and I are getting along nicely. He is an amazing guy. I am just happy. I have memorized like five new verses and am currently reading in the book of Habbakuk, which I barely knew existed, until last week. It is amazing. It speaks of the nations and God's blessings on them. So, guys and gals, you are looking at one happy camper. I love you all and will talk to you all soon. Gotta head to work. Peace out!!

goodbye spring break.. hello stats

I just spent the entire week of my Spring Break hanging out with Robert, friends and family. I watched "The Pacifier," bought a new outfit, got a hair cut and color, sang karaoke, taught a friend how to line dance, played the worst two hours of Maffia ever, babysat, helped someone move, played chauffeur to my brother, picked up food and medicine for my parents who have the flu, given love advice to a dozen people, memorized two more verses and eaten more chocolate cadbury cream eggs in one week than I have in my entire life. My Spring Break was awesome, but, unfortunately, it is over and I have to step back into reality and enter back into the world of Statistics. I have a test on Wednesday and needless to say, I didn't crack a book over break, so I will be spending the next two nights cramming and memorizing formulas, but that's ok. My spring break was exhausting, exciting, fun and crazy, all rolled into one. It is great to have a break every once in a while.