God Rocks my Face off!

Hey Guys!!
I just wanna tell you how much God rocks my face off. As you all know, this is my last week at GC and my last week at my job. I am starting to job hunt. I have been freaking out about money. I have a car insurance payment due in January and a Credit Card Bill to pay off. I will get one more pay check and that is it. I have no idea how I am going to pay it all right? So, what do I do? I start complaining to God and whining and telling him that I am worried about money. I asked Him to provide me a way to pay my bills. Well, yesterday at work, one of my previous teachers came in and said that she was gonna be out of town for eleven days after Christmas and she will pay me $ 20 a day to come and feed her dogs and leave. I have to drive to Gainesville, but that $220 will pay my car insurance. Isn't God good?

Props to Kelly Adams... 3 A's and 2 B's and on the Dean's list at North Georgia College and State University. I am so proud of her. She is awesome.

Going to go study for my Stats final, go to Wal-mart with Kel and pick out my present for the InnerG party, then go see Newsong and David Glen for Free... life is great!!

Brrrr... It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas!!!

Hey Guys!! Well, I have one more final on Friday and my career at Gainesville College will be over. It's kind of sad, yet the feeling of accomplishment is great. I don't know if I will be able to continue to write in my blog, since I don't have Internet access at my house, but I will try to post as often as I can.

As we were watching Charlie Brown's Christmas last night, I was reminded of the real meaning of Christmas. I have always been big on buying presents, even if I don't have the money, and giving to others, which is all well and good, but sometimes I neglect to see or recognize the real reason for the season. Last night was a good reminder of my priorities and my mind set. Well, Heather, you have the cold weather, now we just need the snow. I love this time of year... wearing hats and scarves, drinking hot chocolate and eating gingerbread cookies, wrapping presents and decorating the tree.. Christmas is definitely my favorite Holiday.

Guess what I am getting for Christmas? The Golden Girls First Season Box Set.. I am so excited. I love that show. It is hilarious. I am still looking for a job, so if anyone hears anything, please let me know. I am going to hand out resumes and job hunt tomorrow, study for a STATS test and hopefully go to the Newsong/David Glen Concert at Blackshear Place tomorrow night!!! Hope to talk to you all soon.

Moving On!!!

Have you ever noticed that life is full of change? You stay in one place for awhile, get comfortable and then have to move on to the next stage? That is how I feel right now. As the tears roll down my cheeks, I have come to the horrifying realization that next week is my last one at Gainesville College. Most of you would probably be saying Woo-Hoo, as you would enjoy the fact that you are moving on to bigger and better things. But not me. I have been at Gainesville College for four years, I am here more than I am home and everyone here is like my family. The teachers, students, faculty and staff... even the custodians... I have gotten to know them all so well. Today was my last official BSU as a Gainesville College student and everyone kept telling me how much I meant to them and how much they are going to miss them. I hope that I have made an impact on people's lives in the past four years. I hope that everyone knows how much they have meant in my life as well. They don't even know the half of it.. I am going to miss them way more than they are going to miss me. I know that change and moving on is all a part of growing up, but it hurts. Everything good in my life always somehow gets taken away from me and I am left feeling all alone. I know some of you may think I am being overdramatic, but it's the truth. My last week of working out, my last week of sitting in the Student Center at lunch and talking and laughing with the gang, my last day of waving at familiar faces as I go down the hall, my last day of fighting to find a good parking space that is close to my classes, my last day of going to the Spanish lab and working on projects in the ACTT Center.. the list goes on and on.

I have no idea what my future holds. I have no job, haven't applied to North Georgia yet and have no idea how I will pay to go there when I do. I am scared to death to move away from home. Even though I am not home a lot, I depend on my family for a lot of things. I am so scared and so uncertain about my future. I know that God's ways are bigger than mine, but I hate change and this week is going to be really hard for me. Just pray for me, please!!! I love you all. You rock my face off!!!

Forgiveness

I was talking to a friend the other day about forgiveness. She is having a hard time forgiving one of our other friends and letting go of the things that she did to her. She wanted to know my opinion on the matter. Well, we all know that I am very opiniated and have something to say about everything. I told her about my mom and how for a long time, I had a hard time forgiving myself for things I had said and done to my mom to hurt her, before she passed away and now there is nothing I can do about it and no way to fix it. I told her to imagine the worse thing that anyone has ever done, said or thought to hurt her. This thing is nothing in comparision to what we do to hurt Jesus everyday when we sin. Jesus forgives us, so we are commanded to forgive one another. She also asked me if after you forgive someone, is it ok to still hurt about what they did to you. I told her yes. Jesus doesn't expect us to just forget about the hurt, even if we forgave the person. We are human and our flesh will still hurt, no matter what. We just have to figure out a way to deal with it and move on. If you have unforgiveness in your heart and you hold grudges against others, then you will lead a very miserable life.

On another note, David said that he enjoyed some parts of InnerG, but not others. He said that some of the things Johnny said were very insightful, but others were too preachy for his tastes. He didn't like the fact that we stand up and clap during worship time. He said that overall he is glad that he came, but he probably won't be back, unless it is strictly a social event, like the Christmas party!!! Oh well, I have done all I can do. I have exhausted all of my resources to plant the seed to allow him to get saved. It is now completely in God's hands. All I have left to give is to love him and show him Jesus through my actions, which is what I have been doing and will continue to do. Just continue to pray for him and for his heart and his soul.

To Forgive or Not Forgive.. That is the Question!!

I had a very interesting talk with a friend today about forgiveness. She is having a hard time forgiving someone who hurt her a lot and she wanted my opinion on it. Well, God has been showing me lately that I need to watch what I say to people and how I act towards them, because you never know when those words will come back to bite you in the bum. Anyways, I told her to think of every horrible thing she has ever, done, said or thought and to remember that God has forgiven her of all these things. Nothing that anyone can do to you can be as bad as when we sin against God. If God can forgive us, we should be able to forgive others. He never said that it would be easy, but we must do it. Then she wanted to know if it was ok to forgive somone and it still hurt... ABSOLUTELY!! Jesus didn't say to forgive and forget, He just said forgive. Being human, it is impossible to forget that someone has done us wrong, however we should forgive them and move on. Don't hold grudges or be unforgiving or you will be miserable. Believe me, I know!!! One of the custodians heard us talking and she said " You're a christian? No wonder you are so sweet, so am I." It was a great feeling. These are the random thoughts for today. And Heather, I am with you on the snow part. I want to be able to wear the pretty scarf that Kelly gave me for Christmas.

Here are my top Five Christmas Songs in No Particular Order:

"Winter Wonderland"
"Christmas Shoes"
"My Grown up Christmas List"
"O Holy Night"
Rockin Around the Christmas Tree"

See you tonight at InnerG.

Evil In This World

I always knew that there were thieves and vandals at Gainesville College, and everywhere in the world, but it never sunk it completely until yesterday. David and I were in the fitness center working out. I had put my purse in my bookbag in the locker in the locker room and put my clothes on top. After working out, I go to change clothes. I notice that my purse is out of my bookbag and sitting on top of it. My check book, which always stays in my wallet, is sitting on top of my bookbag. My purse is in a mess and my socks are at the bottom of it. I freak out (which is what I do in situations like that. I looked through my wallet. All my checks were still there and my credit card(Thank God!!). The only thing missing was a $10 bill which was going to be my Olive Garden money for girls night out on Saturday. The money wasn't the issue. It was the concept. I mean, for four years I have been going to GC and have never felt insecure or unsafe, until yesterday. In the past semester, artwork and patio furniture have been vandalized, cellphones and money have been stolen and I found out yesterday that two cars were stolen. The thieves stole the keys out of the locker room. Used the clicker to figure out which car it was, and got in and drove away. We live in a sick and depraved world, I am sorry to say.

More bad news... My great aunt, who is 78, lives alone and is crippled fell yesterday and broke her hip and the rod that was already in her leg. She is having surgery tomorrow, so please keep her in your prayers.

Despite all this, God is good all the time. He puts a song of praise into this heart of mine. He is the alpha, the omega, the beginning and the end.

Thanksgiving Weekend!!

Hey Guys!! Well, my Thanksgiving Break was awesome. Tiring, packed full of things to do, but awesome. I am so sick of shopping and I love to shop. If I never have to hear another cash register ringing up a purchase or hear another child whine for a toy, I will be good. Seriously though, I am so broke right now, but at least I have all of my Shopping done. It is a great feeling to not have to worry about it anymore. I ate more on Thanksgiving than I do in a month and my grandma made my two favorite things.. potato salad and banana pudding... YUMMMY!!! I love banana pudding more than chocolate and we know how much I love chocolate. I got to spend a lot of time with family over the break. Didn't crack a book, so now I am behind, but at least I got a break, right? I haven't had any more encounters with David asking me questions that I have no idea how to answer. He keeps coming up with excuses for why he won't come with me to InnerG. Maybe one day he will change his mind. Well, I'm gonna go get some Chick-Fil-A before InnerG. See you there!!

Thanksgiving Weekend!!

Hey Guys!! Well, my Thanksgiving Break was awesome. Tiring, packed full of things to do, but awesome. I am so sick of shopping and I love to shop. If I never have to hear another cash register ringing up a purchase or hear another child whine for a toy, I will be good. Seriously though, I am so broke right now, but at least I have all of my Shopping done. It is a great feeling to not have to worry about it anymore. I ate more on Thanksgiving than I do in a month and my grandma made my two favorite things.. potato salad and banana pudding... YUMMMY!!! I love banana pudding more than chocolate and we know how much I love chocolate. I got to spend a lot of time with family over the break. Didn't crack a book, so now I am behind, but at least I got a break, right? I haven't had any more encounters with David asking me questions that I have no idea how to answer. He keeps coming up with excuses for why he won't come with me to InnerG. Maybe one day he will change his mind. Well, I'm gonna go get some Chick-Fil-A before InnerG. See you there!!

I don't really have a nifty title for this blog. I don't even know what to write today, for that matter. I mean, my life is pretty insane right now. I can't wait until school is over and I have to start looking for another job. I would like to do something with one of my degrees, so if anyone has any connections, please let me know. Well, Spongebob was great. You should have seen Heather's face. She was so excited... like a little kid in a candy store. The Steven Curtis Chapman concert was great too and so was my chicken melt from Steak n Shake. Went Christmas shopping on Saturday with Tori at Discover Mills and last night to the outlet malls in Commerce. Only a few presents left to buy, which is a good thing, since my bank account is getting lower and lower. Can't wait til Thanksgiving. Going to my grandma's and boy, can she cook. It will be a great stress reliever before finals. I still have so much more school work to do in the next two weeks, it is unbelievable. Oh well, that which doesn't kill me will make me stronger, huh? Speaking of school, have to go to the infamous Spanish lab right now. Catch you later.

Slow Motion

Heather's lesson on Parent-child relationships on Monday night really got my wheels churning. It takes me back to six years ago, to when I found out that my mom had cancer. My mom and I were never very close and my dad and I would go hang out on the weekends and my mom would stay at home. It's not that I didn't want to be close to my mom, we just never found a way to tear down the wall and be close. There are so many things that I wish I could go back and say to her and do for her that I didn't do and so many things that I did say and do to her that I wish I didn't. I felt really guilty about it for a long time. But, then I realized that I was just a kid and that my mom knew how much I loved and cared about her. My dad and I's relationship has changed tremendously since my mom passed away. We aren't as close as we used to be and know I have my stepmom and we have to share him in a way. It is really hard sometimes. I mean, we hang out, go out to eat and go shopping together, but it isn't the same. The older I get, the more I wish I had my mom here. I really feel that we would be closer now and that she would be my best friend. Just thinking of her brings tears to my eyes. I haven't talked about her or cried about it in a long time, but I think about her everyday.

All of this rambling is to say that you should cherish your parents. Tell them and/or show them as much as you can that you love them. You never know when they could be gone. I never thought that I would be 17 years old and not have my mom to see me graduate, go to college, get a degree, get my license, etc. I know she is in a better place, but it hurts like crap, for lack of a better word. Spend time with them, love on them and let them know that you care. Believe me, you don't want to have to regret how you treated them later. Just a thought.

Slow Motion

Heather's lesson on parent-child relationships really got me to thinking last night. I wish that I could rewind my life back about six years ago. I wish I could go back to before I found out my mom had cancer. There are so many things that I would have done differently and so many things that I would have said to her that I didn't. Everything happened so fast. We found out she had cancer in January of 1999. The fourth of July she went in the hospital, was put on a ventilator in ICU and three weeks later on July 24, 1999, she passed away. I wish I would have shown her and told her how much I valued and loved her. I struggled with guilt and resentment for a long time. It wasn't until recently that I realized that my mom knew how much I loved her.. I listened to God when he told me she wasn't saved. I talked to her and God used a family friend to lead her to him. So, now I have the satisfaction of knowing that she will be spending eternity with Jesus. That is the most comforting feeling ever.

Now, things are different with my dad and stepmom. My daddy and I aren't as close as we were when my mom was alive. I have grown up a lot and learned more than I could ever explain to you. However, I do value my dad and my step mom. We hang out and talk. Most of the time we butt heads and disagree, but I respect their opinions and they respect mine. Family is very important to me, as well as friends. Talk to you later!!!

I don't get it!!!

Have you ever been convicted by God to do something, or not do something, and then had to listen to people tell you that you are crazy for doing that thing? This happened to me yesterday. My friend David asked me out the other day. As much as I wanted to say yes, I had to say no, because he isn't a christian. God convicted me about not dating non-believers a long time ago, so I knew what I had to do. I was talking to my parents about it last night, and Rachael, my step mom, totally dissed me and said that I was judging him and that if I found something wrong with every guy that came along, I would be lonely and miserable forever. Nice thought, huh? Talk about degrading my pride, right? I don't understand how someone can criticize me for doing what God tells me to do. It doesn't make sense.

I am not going to worry about it too much. I must do what God tells me to do. It's all about obedience and sacrifice. He is the only one who truly matters. " To obey is better than sacrifice."

persecution

persecution

You know how Jesus helped everyone, always did the right thing and was concerned for all of mankind? But, there were always those people who rejected him, no matter how hard he tried to show them the way? I felt like that last night. I was talking to my parents about David and how he really wants to date me, but I had to tell him no because he isn't a christian. This is something that God convicted me about a long time ago and I can't budge on it, no matter what. Although it was really hard for me to do this, I did it. Well, my stepmom, Rachael totally dissed me and said that I was judging him and that if I find something wrong with every guy that comes along, then I will be lonely for the rest of my life. Talk about wounding my pride, huh? It's funny how one person's rejection can make you feel discouraged and angry.

I don't care what she says. I have to do what God tells me to do. Salvation is very important on my "What I want in my future husband list," as a matter of fact it is #1. So, I guess that she can have her opinion and I can have mine. It's all about sacrifice and obedience.. God has been showing me that too. So, even if I get persecuted, or shot down, for certain things I believe, it won't change the fact that if God says it, I must do it. So, bring it on!!!

persecution

You know how Jesus helped everyone, always did the right thing and was concerned for all of mankind? But, there were always those people who rejected him, no matter how hard he tried to show them the way? I felt like that last night. I was talking to my parents about David and how he really wants to date me, but I had to tell him no because he isn't a christian. This is something that God convicted me about a long time ago and I can't budge on it, no matter what. Although it was really hard for me to do this, I did it. Well, my stepmom, Rachael totally dissed me and said that I was judging him and that if I find something wrong with every guy that comes along, then I will be lonely for the rest of my life. Talk about wounding my pride, huh? It's funny how one person's rejection can make you feel discouraged and angry.

I don't care what she says. I have to do what God tells me to do. Salvation is very important on my "What I want in my future husband list," as a matter of fact it is #1. So, I guess that she can have her opinion and I can have mine. It's all about sacrifice and obedience.. God has been showing me that too. So, even if I get persecuted, or shot down, for certain things I believe, it won't change the fact that if God says it, I must do it. So, bring it on!!!

The Courageous Lion Strikes!!

As I look over my life in the past few weeks, I am reminded of the Wizard of Oz. I feel like the cowardly lion, who wanted so badly to gain courage and boldness. I have been praying for that lately. Just a word of advice.. don't pray for something, unless you really want it and are ready for it. The past two weeks of my life have been chock full of opportunities to be bold and amazingly, I have passed the test with flying colors. It's weird how I was so bold. It had to come from God, because I am too nice and tend to let others walk all over me. But, as one of my classmates said, who used to be like me: she was tired of dusting the foot prints off of her back. I think I am to that point to. " God didn't give us a spirit of fear, but of courage, love and a sound mind." This has been my life verse lately.

So, bring it on. I am ready to take on whatever life throws my way!!! With Jesus as my Lord, I can surpass and rise above any one or anything. Just a thought!!

Friends are Friends Forever

Hey Guys!! As you can see, I made it home safely. This whole ordeal has made me very thankful for my awesome support system and group of friends. Just to think that people spent two and three hours looking for me and were worried about my well being, brings tears to my eyes. I am very blessed to have such wonderful friends. It reminds me of the song that says,

" A friend's a friend forever if the Lord's the Lord of them and a friend will not say never, though the welcome will not end. A lifetime is not too long to live as friends."

So, thanks to everyone for your love and support and the next time I go anywhere late at night, I will call two or three of you and let you know where I am, ok? I guess that means that I have to get more minutes for my cell phone, so you guys can stalk me and find out where I am. Just kidding. I love you guys very much and will talk to you soon.

To believe or not to believe...that is the question!!!!

I found out yesterday that my friend David believes that there is a god, but that he doesn't have any involvement in our everyday lives, he just kind of sits in the sky and watches us. The great part is that he believes there is a god. I asked him about church and he said that you don't have to go to church to believe in something. That is so true. But, I told him that church is where people who believe in the same things go to give praise to and talk about that thing that they believe in. I told him that Heather and I were going to get him a Message Bible and that I would be praying that God would convict him. We talked about God for about 30 or 40 minutes. It was great!! I was afraid of offending him or pushing him away, but God totally helped me out. He opened up the door and I took it. Keep praying for him. I believe that God is going to do something totally awesome in his life and hopefully, I will get to be a part of it.

On another note, yay Bush!! You go boy!! Another answered prayer. God is so good!! He reveals Himself in small things and in big things, it doesn't matter. He rocks my face off. I will keep you posted on the David issue and I will let you know of any new developments. Later.

Support

This weekend at Upwards Basketball I was asked to give my testimony during half time. I told Derrick that I didn't know what to say. He told me to think about it. As I was sitting in the gym talking to Heather, I realized that all of those children were blessed to have their family and friends sitting there watching them play basketball. I decided that this is what I would relay to the adults there. I was reminded of my own parents who were at every football game, home and away for four years, to watch me march. Even after my mom got cancer and underwent chemo treatments, she came to my games and sat in the car and watched me. My parents love and support is what has helped make me who I am today. That's why friends are so important to me and I am always concerned with the well being of others. The main reason why robberies, murders and other crimes are committed is because the culprits are crying out to be heard and to have someone pay them attention.

I have been struggling lately with encouraging people, instead of judging them and finding the good in others. I am reminded that I should support and love the people in my life as my parents did me. But, more importantly, the way that my heavenly father loves and supports me. He is the same loving, caring, accepting God every day. He never changes. He loves and supports me when I do a good job, when I mess up, when I am happy, when I am sad.. it doesn't matter. You will never know how much a kind word or an encouraging pat on the back or "good job" can mean to someone. Just a thought.

Support