So, I have been thinking about my mom a lot lately. It makes me so happy when I hear my friends talk about being close to their moms. Two of the girls at DNow told me all about how their mom was their best friend and they do everything together. It makes me happy and sad at the same time. Happy for them that they can be that close to their mom and share everything with them. Sad in knowing that my mom and I were never very close, and now I don't have her here to change that.
Not to get all mushy, but I really miss her. I miss her spending eight hours one day in the summer teaching me how to make a bridge with cards. I miss her cooking, her laugh and her contagious smile. I remember her coming to every football game-home and away-for four years, to see the same half time show and hear the same music every week, because she was so proud of me. The last football game of my Junior year, she was there. She had already been diagnosed with Lymphoma and was taking chemo treatments. It was freezing cold. She sat in the car, because she was too weak to walk up the bleachers, but she was there. She was my chaueffer, my shoulder to lean on and my friend. Even though I was always a daddy's girl and my mom and I never had that "close knit"Mother-Daughter relationship, I know without a doubt that she loved me. The last thing she said to me, while lying in a hospital bed at Athens Regional Medical Center, in ICU, on life support was that she loved me and was proud of me.
Even though my mom and I never had heart to hearts, went on shopping sprees or out to lunch together, we had this unspoken bond. The most awesome memory I have of my mom is seeing her get saved a month before she passed away. And knowing that I was a part of it. It has been five and a half years, some days it feels like yesterday and some days it feels like an eternity. My last memory of her, before the hospital was giving her a hug and a kiss and telling her that I loved her, before I went to see the fireworks with my cousin and brother. I thank God every day that the last thing that my mom said to me was that she loved me. Some people don't get that, ya know? I miss her so much, and I know that if she were here right now that we would be the best of friends. But, I also know that God is in contro and that she is with Him, which is far greater than anything that can happen here on Earth.
I guess what I am trying to say with all this is that your parents are very important and they won't always be here. My mom was 37 when she died and left behind a 17 year old, a15 year old and an 8-year old. My little brother will never have as many memories of my mom as I did, and that will haunt me for the rest of my life. Didn't mean to get all mushy, I am just speaking from the heart. I love you mom and miss you more than words can describe!!!!
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1 comment:
Hey Amb,
You expressed your heart very well, I'm totally choked up! I just moved back home in Dec. and am fully enjoying the relationship that I have now, with both my parents. Personally, I grew up faster than average, and pushed my parents (especially my mom) away tremendously till I moved out (and moved across the country several times). A couple years later, my mom is like this brand new entity - she's smart, reasonable, and she works harder and loves more than any person I know. I am sure you would have been best friends with your mom had she continued living, but you're right - heaven is far better than anything that could've happened, and God satisfies the needs of your heart in ways you probably won't ever fully realize. I desire to go into foreign missions one day, and like you said, they aren't around forever. So while it's wierd to a lot of people that I'm living at home again, I don't care. I know they're precious and God's given me now to enjoy them, with no guarantees for tomorrow. Thank you, so much! for this sweet post. It means a lot to me!
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